Ruthless hidden with a smile
I just watched a YouTube video about the past 5000 years of human history: basically, just ruthless and trying to gain maximum benefits. And that coincides with what I observed about corporations and startups and the coworkers or managers inside. However, when I see their Linkedin profile photos, every one is bright, positive, and friendly. How about you?
I like people till they give me a reason to dislike them. I give people the benefit of doubt. Else it’s hard to live. Being ruthless is not easy .it’s stressful unless you are born with that attitude
I believed so until I had that first tech lead after graduation, when the team's Performance Review average had to be about 3.0 for the team, so he gave himself 3.5 and me 2.5, and he listed a bunch of reasons he and I knew are not true, and he said, "you HAVE TO accept 'constructive criticism'". (for example, there is a good restaurant 20 minutes away and we drove together there for lunch, and so we went to lunch from 12:00 to 1:30pm, and he said "I went out to lunch for too long" but "hello", you were in the same car as me). And the toxic manager years later, 5 words Jira ticket, no spec, no design docs, and said I should work on 5 to 6 items at the same time (when I was a new hire for 2 months) and hunt down the background info and the specs and request design mockup, and when the designer failed to give me a mockup after 10 days, the manager said, "You SHOULD NOT ask for a mockup. You should use your 'creative freedom'". It seems they can publish a book "Corporate Words that Would Appear Righteous to Screw People".
I am death inside
For people who voted "I am bright, positive, and friendly outside and inside", I remember Dale Carnegie's book that says > I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man. > > — Al Capone, America's most notorious Public Enemy - the most sinister gang leader who ever shot up Chicago at the time
Read about “Machiavellian mask” from The Prince or “the mask of banality” from 48 Laws of Power. Best thing to do when you’re a ruthless killer is basically market yourself as a humble positive person. These people will eat you alive if you trust them at face value.
These are among my favorite books, and they are indeed grounded in reality.
Thinking of life as the royal court and certain challenges in life as battles is a giant hack I could have used in my 20s. Least we’re lucky now that messing up the laws badly rarely results in literal beheading.
This may sound naive but think the best of people until they prove you otherwise. I believe we are kind by nature until our survival is threatened. Some people get triggered very easily others have more tolerance.
in the 80's and 90's and even early 2000's I could do that. From about 2008 to 2023, I had to assume people are evil until proven otherwise, and even that "otherwise" could be a show they put up