I am a late 30s single male software developer living in Canada. Originally from India, I worked in the US before moving here. My experience was in WITCH companies in the US and some time in Canada. I worked primarily on the mainframe at WITCH which I hated. I just left the company to build a product with newer tech and tried marketing it but failed miserably. I lost quite a bit of money I had saved up in Canada. The savings from US were mostly in India for my parents' healthcare. After being depressed about my failure I then got a job at a bank. Fortunately I was able to get out of the mainframe world and work on newer stuff. After replenishing my savings I thought of buying a home in a LCOL place and got priced out by the crazy housing market in Canada. The LCOL became HCOL in months. The thought of being late 30s, single, renter with only 325K CAD net worth is just killing me. I had way too many opportunities in life but messed up. Except for a very few circumstantial things everything was just my fault - didn't invest properly though I saved well, never thought of owning until recently - thought would buy with a spouse. Don't know what future I have in life. Will likely never own a home here (moved to Canada quite enthusiastically years ago), can't find a partner (nothing wrong with me but just doesn't work out). Very depressed and don't know what is causing it - being single, the COVID isolation, lack of a good career, inability to afford a home or just all of it. Not seeking pity because I accept I messed up. Looking for some inspirational stories. TC: 110K CAD with non indexed defined benefit pension. With extra hours and a side hustle I hit around 130K -140K CAD last year. #depression #mentalhealth YOE: 17
Whats ur YoE ?
17
Set a goal to join FAANGMULA and work every day.
Which city do you live?
Ontario Canada. Don't want to get too specific.
The past is the past. You can't change it. Focus on today and tomorrow.
You have a good money and you are still young and have whole life ahead of you. If you don’t like Canada maybe it would be good to go back home?
Same here
I have around double your net worth and can’t buy a house in Canada. Think about moving back to the US if that’s an important factor. Otherwise save and invest till you hit 1 million and then retire in India It’s not your fault- real estate in Canada is pretty unfair
GTA or Vancouver?
Both are unaffordable
I battled depression for like a decade before I got through it. The past few years my mood has been a million times better. I haven’t had any seriously depressed thoughts or feelings the past few years. I have some advice for you. But you (or the people reading this) might not like it. Here’s my advice: don’t give up on your dream of having a great wife, job, and a house. Instead, change your lifestyle to one that will lead you to those goals, little by little. Right now you’ve probably been in a slump for a while. That means your habits are bad, your motivation is nearly empty, and your pessimism is extreme. Those three things will improve as you make more improvements to your lifestyle. I completely turned my life around the last few years. There were lots of times when I had to do things that I didn’t want to. But the more you do those things, the easier they get. Check out the subreddit getting_over_it for a helpful community of people with depression or previous depression
Thanks for your words. I have been like this just for the last 2 months. Was doing great before. Got a top rating this year (it's a bank so doesn't count much :-)), cooking well at home, reading and learning, running outdoors (no gym due to covid-19), looking for houses. Then all of the sudden the house prices were on fire, the couple of people I met and talked to for a while pulled back. Suddenly realized that wait I am 39 - what have I been doing all this life and suddenly got into a depression. Now I can't sleep well, can't focus on work, don't cook much. I even stopped watching Netflix and listening to music. Feel like I don't deserve entertainment.
Try to focus on your work as best as you can. It can help bring confidence into your life
Dude there are lots of 'happily married' people who would love to be in your situation. Marriage is not a cure all. There is nothing wrong with you or your accomplishments. Talk to a therapist, and enjoy your freedom/lack of responsibilities.
I disagree, being in a marriage or relationship helps cope with daily life stress.
Except when the marriage is the biggest source of stress.
Get some help. Not to discredit your feelings but you still are in 1% of the population. Get a gf/bf. Exercise!