Tech workers of Blind: Is there any advantage to getting married?
Would like to see if there’s difference in perspective from men and women. So please state your gender. Trolls welcome but keep it funny. I’m a man in LTR btw. GF lives in with me. Marrying her wouldn’t change my life in the slightest. (But I think a proposal is expected from me within a year or two). All these divorce related posts on Blind are freaking me out lately. Pros: + Lower tax bracket (for dissimilar incomes) + Good for religious people/families (“don’t live in sin”) + Green card for immigrant (if marrying an American. Lol) + “Intact heteresexual two parent households are better for children” (Don’t shoot the messenger, quoting Jordan Peterson. I haven’t done my own research to back this claim, but I tend to agree with his views like 70% of times) + Socially acceptable - (1) It feels like after a certain age, friends and relatives will stop hanging out with you, unless you bring a significant other. Single men are definitely sorta excluded. Don’t know about single women. (2) Specific to men - If you like to be around kids, you better be married or be mistaken for a pedo. Don’t know many single guys who coach a middle school soccer team, that’s the sort of thing I might enjoy someday. + Sex gets better (or so I hear. Married people, correct me if this is wrong) Cons: - Higher tax bracket (for similar incomes, filing jointly) - Divorce (Don’t give me that “don’t marry her if you think divorce is likely” shit. No one ever gets married thinking they will someday get a divorce. Apparently even liberal icons like Michelle Obama - whom I respected a lot until this week - think divorced dads are something to be laughed at) - Alimony (Prenups are expensive and complicated. Even if you got one, state laws dictate what can and cannot be enforced. And I’m going to boldly state that this destroys men’s finances harder. Our society isn’t at a point where women at large are willing to marry men who earn less, and it may never get there. “Stay at home mom made sacrifices for the family” argument does not apply if she wasn’t planning on getting a high income job anyway. Child support is a form of payment I’m onboard with, its your kid too afterall) - Enforces monogamy (only a con for people inclined towards poly/alternate lifestyles) TC 280k 🍿🍿
TLDR: here we go again
Is this a FAQ? Sorry I’m new here
Friday afternoon, man 🍿
Cons: Sex gets worse. Pro: It gives an extra incentive to stay together and avoid letting you go when going through rough times. Cons: At some point you may really need to let go and it will be harder
Outright bad idea to get married. Married male.. Sex goes away.. you become responsible for all the shit happening in her life. Also, you need to deal with relatives. No pro of getting married.
>Enforces monogamy If someone's not monogamous in a LTR they won't be in a marriage
My marriage falsifies that assertion.
You’re exposing yourself to tremendous financial risk if you get married. The contract is for life. The odds that you’ll divorce are high. People are selfish and they change a lot over time. The family and divorce court system and its players are solely motivated to liquidate both party’s assets. Not for fairness, or for what’s best for the kids. Marriage is a minefield.
If I may ask - Are you male? Married/divorced?
Male, divorced. 3.5 year custody battle included. I estimate we spent 45k on it between the two of us. Just gave it to lawyers who did nothing but escalate the disagreements and fill heads with unrealistic expectations of “winning.” There are no winners in divorce. Well. The lawyers and family court system did get us to part with some major cash. They won. My ex and I share 50/50 physical and legal custody for our son. The identical outcome I proposed when I asked for the divorce at the very beginning. 🙄
It’s about taking a risk for someone you love. If you don’t want to get married, don’t. But nothing good in this life comes without taking a risk
With TC @ 280k and you complain that preups are expensive. This whole post makes me think you think that your money and time is better spent elsewhere
Right because for someone in their 20s, 280k liquid every year is basically broke. And soon I won’t be able to pay any bills, unless I leetcode hard /s
What’s LTR 😅
Long Term Relationship
Male. marriage was the best thing I ever did. Find the one that you can’t live without. Your posts tells me you’re overthinking it: love isn’t engineered; it just happens.
I agree! But It’s “engineered” (arranged) for 90% of the people on Blind
I’m clearly not an arranged marriage type of a guy, and @atinlay2 FYI contemporary arranged marriage blurs a lot of boundaries between traditional and western style of dating.
Sex doesn't get better. It goes away.
God I can practically hear the tone one would say this with. It’s perfect. I LOL’d for real.