Thinking of Cheating on My Marriage
Been with my wife for 4 years now, and I really value the time that we have spent together. Now, due to career reasons, she insists on living in another city, and no matter what I do, she won't budge. Her plan is to do long-distance for the next 24 months. I respect the time that we spent together to break up with her. At the same time, I have no interest, and have started looking elsewhere. Is it the right thing to do?
There is no single definition for right or wrong but the best course of action would be to mutually part ways and then you can fuck around as much as you want without having a guilty conscience.
Do YOU think it’s the right thing to do? I don’t think you do. Maybe you’re afraid of confronting her or regretting your decision later, but I don’t think it has anything to do with you “respecting” your time together.
Do whatever
Like you :-)
You respect the time you spent together too much to break it up, but not enough not to cheat? I think you're lying to yourself. Face the truth and tell your wife how you feel. Maybe she is thinking about it too.
Japanese have a much broader view: I mean hell I’m happily married but I’d go to a hostess bar or cabaret club and not feel terribly guilty since it’s just flirting and nothing handsy? I’m basing this off of The Yakuza series so take my perspective with a huge grain of salt ;)
Going to a hostess bar or strip club is not same as sleeping around
I’m just saying I don’t really like strip clubs but something more modest would be awesome.
I think this is not the forum to ask such personal questions. Different people will give you different opinions, which will lead to more confusion. You are your best judge.
You should have a serious conversation with her about these feelings. If you’re not interested in a long distance 24month relationship (even if she comes back to visit every other weekend or whatever) then she needs to know what that means. My mom took a job across the country while I was in high school for 2 years while my dad took care of me at “home”. It can work, you just need to make sure you’re on the same page and have the same level of commitment. Otherwise, it’s not going to happen, and it seems like that’s the road you’re going down.
I'm surprised your marriage has lasted this long with your obvious communication issues. Tell her how you feel openly. Share this Blind post if you must. My guess is this will result in a divorce, but it could result in her changing her mind. You say "no matter what I do" but have you tried saying "if you leave I will sleep with other women"? I bet not.
I feel like that might push her towards initiating divorce herself...
Exactly right! Mutual understanding and open communication is necessary and healthy. If she wants a divorce for simply **having the talk** then they should divorce.
So job >>> marriage?
You have to discuss open relationship with your wife else it's called cheating. And, most think cheating or infidelity is not okay.