Unmarried and childless: socially frowned upon?
A person in a long-term relationship refuses to get married and has decided to not have children; their partner commits to the same arrangements for shared career reasons, lifestyle preferences, and philosophical views. In some cultures, this is considered selfish and immature to the degree of being disowned for disgracing the family. They may be ostracized as crazy and suspicious by members of proper society. (Please select one option for each question below.) 1. What do you think about this couple's type of attitude and behaviour? 2. How can such a person respond in a tactful manner after being asked persistently in a casual way about their life plans by professional colleagues?
You're Indian. I get it. Do whatever makes you happier. Kids are not for everyone. To use absolute blanket statement that every couple must have children is ludacris. Also, marriages are nothing special. If anything, they bring more sadness than happiness to all involved. 200 years from now, I doubt marriages will exist. It's an ancient practice supported by a stupid tax code and the constitution. People should be able to live however and with whoever they please in a free country.
Not that ancient as well - maybe 10K years old? This is very recent history on human evolution scale.
thanks for the answer, although let's not assume the OP's ethnicity (e.g. they may be from Japan or Saudi Arabia)
People who want to get married should be able to, people who don't shouldn't be forced to. Live and let live
What kind of backward shut is this?
We have nearly 8B humans on a planet increasingly unable to provide enough resources for all of us. Procreation is really unnecessary at this point. We’re already headed towards childless couples and singles becoming the new normal. So it’s just a matter of culture catching up. Regarding question #2, it’s simply not appropriate to harass someone about this topic in a professional environment. If someone does, it’s very much an issue that should be taken to HR.
We're really over populated. The world can afford for a lot of people to not have kids.
What you want to do in your family life is your own business, and anyone decent at work will respect that and not really care. Your manager may ask about it to understand your family situation, and to help build rapport, but if anyone judges you or treats you differently based on your preferences, that's their problem.
I usually answer that we are in the era where we can decide our own path, and the old mentality is gone.
It's a lifestyle choice, like many other varied lifestyle choices. People asking you about it at work are either socially clueless or just narrow minded fools. Same with people who have to immediately judge your choice and declare it a "bad choice". It's just like colleagues who keep suggesting you "must have another child", not knowing you want to but are unable. Practically, though, pay attention to your social circle and seek out people who truly appreciate you for who you are. Life is hard if your the only child free couple in a sea of parents. even the best of them cannot help but steer conversations to child rearing. You will be judged. All the bloody time. By random strangers. Get used to it. I am a parent.
My two cents 1. The primary reason to have kids is so you're not old, sick and lonely. Especially true in cultures with strong bonds between parents and adult kids. People who don't want to marry and have kids usually haven't thought about slowly doing alone by themselves. That's probably why the OP is having trouble responding about their future life plans. 2. If you have kids only because of social pressure, you are probably a spineless coward.
“The primary reason to have kids is so you're not old, sick and lonely. Especially true in cultures with strong bonds between parents and adult kids.” That only applies to Asian cultures. American and European cultures are the opposite. As a white person nearing retirement age (and have already retired once), I can say that we want our children to be as independent as possible. I would not wish to burden my daughter into taking care of me and my wife. She has her own life to live now and, hopefully with a family of her own.
How selfish do you have to be to bear another human being so you are not old and lonely?
It goes against basic human nature. But personally I don’t care. If you’re dumb enough to choose not to have kids, at least you aren’t passing on your poor philosophy to your children. So more power to them.
Ironically, typing on a phone to post on Blind also goes against human nature. The OP might choose to adopt (but it seems unlikely).
Typing on a phone online is not against human nature. What a dumb idea. People have communicated through mediums since the dawn of recorded history, and probably a lot longer than that as well.