Female and at the age where everyone says to try now or it’s about to get very hard. Different for everyone but I want kids and worried about missing my chance or affording fertility treatments if I don’t try now. While it’s exciting to finally start the journey, I’m at Amazon and like many others, I’m incredibly burned out, and now losing whole days to long commutes. My manager is condescending, always has and while typically I hold my own, recently it’s been breaking me down more than I’d like to admit. I’m losing sleep and on edge about my performance or put on PIP. I know there will be “just wait till you have kids and get no sleep” comments but at this point I feel in my gut that being in this stressful environment is hurting my health and chances at all. If I stay I have maternity leave, stacked up PTO, amazon has a ramp up program. Financially, I would need to return back to work and thinking about coming back to amazon with a baby < 1 year old also is disheartening. I didn’t want to get my dog until I knew I had enough time to give him the attention he deserve. Idk how new parents are doing RTO right now? Given the market leaving for another company could be awhile and then a year for maternity leave. This could push me out another 2 years and has its own risks. My husband told me to quit but I know relying on one income is just not an option for long. It seems silly when I’m not even pregnant yet and there’s benefits on the table at amazon. I feel guilty to even complain about having a job right now. I guess I just want to see if anyone relates or has advice to give.
Between job and kids, I would prioritize kids assuming **You do have your spouse earning and providing basic financial support. If you are the only earning person, then you just suck it up and still prioritize the kids. Do not delay.
What’s your age?
My guess is 34
33 but yes 34s just around the corner and it’ll be here in no time hah
You probably overestimating your need for work. If your husband has a decent job you should be able to stay home with the kid. Don't delay getting pregnant, you will regret it. Making money can wait, fertility doesn't.
1. Take one day at a time and calm down. You seem stressed. Breathe in and breathe out. 2. Always put family first and foremost!! Having a baby will change your life and it will be the most fulfilling outcome. 3. Don’t worry much about your job or PIP. Just go with the flow and whatever happens, will happen for the best.
I truly breathed in and out reading your response. Rereading my post I can even sense the stress in my own writing. #2 needed this reminder of why I was so excited to start. Thank you!
Of course OP!! Good luck!!
Money will never be enough. If you have decent savings and your husband's TC is good enough for the short term, just quit and focus on mental health/personal goals.
Family >>> career And in case you didn’t know, having a baby while super stressed will affect baby health
Just change internally to another team. Your amazon benefits remain, try looking for a slightly more empathetic mgr rather than the work stream of that team. Will reset your promo cycle but worth it if you’re thinking of going on mat leave.
Don't have the kid while at Amazon. I have a baby and it's the hardest thing to do with hardly any postpartum leave.
Is the parent ramp up program helpful at all? How have you been managing RTO?
No didn't take ramp up. The work is hectic either way and there's an undertone of expectation so it's better to be full time than take the ramp up. I'm virtual for now but asked to RTT so I've not figured it out yet
It’s perfectly normal to feel this way! The toxic work environment has a physical impact on your body that you won’t want during pregnancy or even while trying to get pregnant. It’s ok to take a break from work to prioritize your family and mental health. There’s other ways to earn income and there’s plenty of ways to reduce expenses, change lifestyles, or move to a lower cost of living area. If you do want to work during pregnancy and after maternity leave, you have plenty of opportunities elsewhere even in a tighter job market because you have Amazon on your resume. Maybe you start your own business or work part time or work at a more relaxed company full time. You have plenty of options!
Thank you for your response and validation. Its definitely difficult letting go and accepting that step back or away from a career you worked so hard for. Even when you know how stress affects the body and your chances of a family - which is my priority right now.
Stay for the mat leave and find another job during.
For mat leave you need kid inside your tummy
Lol kids are in mother’s womb and not in their tummy lol.