Me and my husband are in early 40s. We love traveling, food and dogs. We are into adventures. We never wanted kids. I am starting to have some self doubts about our decision especially after COVID when life got stuck within 4 walls of the home. Are we wrong about not wanting kids? Working parents, please roast me if I am being unreasonable!
Being a parent is like accepting that the protagonist in your life is no longer yourself but your kids. If you don’t want that then better not have children. I think it’s so much better to not have kids than having them in case you might end up enjoying it
Good analogy.
It’s a personal choice and no right/wrong answer. As a parent of kid under 12, it’s been the most stressful time since ages 3-4. I can’t imagine couples with newborns during the pandemic.
It’s your decision. Don’t let anyone (ANYONE) or social trends dictate your decision. What matters is you and your spouse are happy. I know multiple couple who decided to not have kids and it’s purely their decision.
And holy crap, for your own sake and that of the rest of society, don't have kids if you don't want them. That's just cruel and hurts everyone involved.
😊 true but letting the OP off gently this time 😉
People who have kids aren't allowed to regret their decisions, so they do whatever they can to convince themselves and others that kids are worth it. Not always. A lot of people have terrible kids or terrible lives once kids enter the picture. The two child-free coworkers I've had were in their 40s, relaxed, looked and acted 10 years more youthful than their peers, and had comfy lives. I'm child-free and loving it. Imagine having kids just to produce humans that will maybe support you when you're old and visit you once in a while. If you don't know how to make friends or build networks then might as well have kids just because it's the only option. But if you have passion and know how to take care of yourself, it's not necessary.
Looks like someone parents did not had passion and didnt know how to take care of themselfs.
It's mostly a spiritual answer you should look for. Rationally it doesn't make much sense to have children, except to receive love and be taken care of when you're old (if your relationship is still great then). Spiritually there are plenty of reasons that exist. - part of natural life cycle experience - allow spirit children to take a body to come to earth and live their own experience like we lived ours - personal strong learning experience to become a better person (if you do it right) I'm even more admirative of my brothers after they became fathers. I really see it helps them become better people, more patient, more empathetic, more loving. I do admire them.
Something to talk to a therapist about. Please don't be roasted about this in blind. 😊
No I can take it. At times, it costs less to get honest, brutal takes in blind rather than spending money on therapist. I am surprised no one asked me to pay blind tax yet.
Absolutely nothing
Kids are insanely fulfilling and provide me with balance and happiness. Life isn’t just about work or just about me Seeing the wonder kids experience during childhood is great. Raising them I feel that I’ve learned so much about human nature. I have never been depressed since my kids were born I also think it’s great because I have more resources ($$) than my parents did and I try to do a better job than they did raising me. Honestly I think people with good jobs should try having at least two kids… many kids are raised in abject poverty, extremism, etc and it feels nice to bring up a new generation who can try to work on the big problems of the world. And I plan on enabling it by passing my resources on to them And tbh I didn’t want kids
This. You're fine about it now, but will miss out on the best part of life, in my opinion. And I didn't want kids either.
Please have kids. Need good families. You might change the history by not giving birth to a person who will cure cancer or invent time travel.
It is fine as it is your decision, but there will be an emptiness which will set in as you age older around 60+, you will not have many friends or family to talk to, something to keep in mind as well
Not sure why you would think that .. I know a few 60+ and they mostly live in 55+ communities and they have now friends and interactions with their community than most under 40 people I know ..If you're not Indian I would count on kids to have someone to talk to in the us
@EMC my aunts and uncles are indian, single and don't have children. I feel that loneliness sets in after a certain age, if you don't have hobby / community etc.