What should I do?
25 M India. Would try to be brief. I was decent in studies during school days and when heard about IITs wanted to try for it. But my Mother always pushed for preparing for some Govt jobs. Hence she didn't send me to IIT coaching. Somehow with the help of friends I continued preparation and could make to NITs. She didn't want me to go but I told I'll try for IES etc. I got a decent campus offer. I really loved Coding and Software engineering in general. Obviously due to the TC aspect too. I prepared and switched to few startups and increased my TC to a really good number considering Indian standards. Initially my Mother wasn't happy with private jobs but seeing the TC she was impressed. She flaunts my TC to all relatives. Since pandemic have been doing WFH more than a year now. Due to my Mother's controlling nature I'm really disturbed now. Though she flaunts my TC to everyone around when I have to work few days late nights to connect with US folks she starts shouting, why the hell do you work so late in night. Somedays I wake up early to do Yoga and she shouts, are you Baba Ramdev or something. I like wearing full shirts and not round neck t-shirts but she has objection in that too. She shouts, are you some old guy etc. I had genuine interest in stand up comedy since school days, my friends appreciated my sense of humor and wanted to try a side career, but she just doesn't allows that. I could never have a relationship because she was always skeptical and never allowed close connect with girls. Now I have lost interest in everything. I planned to live with friends for sometime but she didn't allow. I don't enjoy songs, movies or stand up comedy anymore. I know my future that I'll be forced to marry a "good looking" "housewife" girl of "my caste". These are just few thing that I have listed. There's a everyday tussle between my choices and her opinions, though my father is always cool and open. Had my TC not been this good I am sure she would forced me to leave the job too. What should I do? I don't feel I am living a life anymore. Currently SDE 2 in a well known startup which everyone in India would have used or at least heard of. TC ~55 LPA YOE 3.5 #mentalhealth
Step 1: Move out of your parents house. Step 2: Set boundaries with your mother and ask her to not cross them. Probably this should have been done long back. Step 3: Stop sharing your TC details with your parents if you don't want them to flaunt it. In general, not a good idea to share. You should support your parents, but in turn, they do need to understand that you have now grown up. Your mother sounds controlling, you need to stand up for yourself. Imagine your mother controlling your wife like she does to you. Don't let her do that. Control your life now.
Leave the country for few years. If you are good at ds algo stuff join Facebook London. Travel around Europe. Live your life
Failed FB London. Got Booking.com Amsterdam, some 80s, obviously my Mother refused, even my Father didn't allow
Dude you are grown man. You don't need their permission Just inform them as fyi and leave
man tell her to shut the fuck up whenever she tries to control your life
Just move out. Don't overthink.
Boy boy boy pls pls pls move out I love my dad but he is controlling so I have to lie about some things but this is too much I'm shocked you're still surviving, I'm not suggesting you fight with her well coz she's a mother just say this - THE COMPANY NEEDS ME THEIR and move to any city you want, pls move out you will start loving life even I'm waiting for my office to open thankfully my mom is understanding so I can share everything but dad is like a big patriarch and yes about the salary show off my parents do it too and I hate it coz I never share my salary but yes they're proud so never mind but yes MOVE OUT it's a request
With the new variant everyone knows WFH is extended
No if you are keen on moving out it's not tough to create a fake look a like mail and moving out may look uncomfortable as how bad as it is it's still in the comforts of home
Move out. ASAP
55LPA in 3 years? Wtf
It's common these days, just check other blind posts
Which company brother?
Time to pip your parents. They sound like mine.
Take stand for yourself. We get to live life once don't live with regret else you will be dragging your life not living and enjoying it Move out , have friends and take up your stand .
Stand up for yourself, learn to be happy despite what they say. Distance yourself if it's such a menace. You can still unconditional love your parents and be kind but you don't have to listen to everything they say.