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I have worked at TikTok US core tech for 3 years. AMA.
Nobody loves me. I've never had a girlfriend. Parents are just sorta there..there's no real connection. We've never spoken about my problems. It has always been about money my entire life. I grew up in a middle class family. My mom came from a rich background and she just couldn't settle. Everything was about monetary value. I've never had hobbies. Whenever I shared any incident involving females, my mom would overreact and make me feel really bad. I guess that stuck throughout my childhood and I never spoke about my feelings to anyone after that. Bachelors was all about getting scholarships and preparing for masters. Came here, got masters and a 6 figure job out of college. Paid back loans. Have 100k+ in savings now. Still my parents aren't changing a bit. They are never truly happy. I was planning on trip for them and they canceled. All because now they want to buy a bigger house in India. They aren't fit at all. I'm begging them to take gym membership or a private trainer for a month but no. They don't want to spend money. I send money almost every month. Still they won't repair the house, keep a fulltime maid or at least keep the hygiene in the house. Mom has health issues still she visits local cheap doctors and doesn't get anything looked by proper hospitals. For me, I've never really had any relationship for the fear of upsetting my mom. Maintained a distance from females and focused on grades and getting a good job. Now there is a huge void in my life. It's difficult to stay alone in the US. Have couple of male friends but thats different then having someone to share feeling with. Lately, I get emotional on any random situation and then hold back tears. Saw a couple feeding each other on campus the other day and I started feeling sooo soo bad about it. Honestly, I secretly wish to not wake up next morning. It hurts to see my parents the way they are living. I pity myself for not being attractive enough. Any social gathering, I'm just hoping to find that special someone. I'm exhausted now. Cannot do it any further. I have headache for some months now. Almost everyday, I have nightmares and I wake up really scared. I've tried meetups, volunteering, being social and everything. Just can't get that void filled. Really want to go back to India cuz I'll find a girl there much easily as compared to here but can't stay the way I've lived there so far. I still remember how I wanted to escape India and earn decent money. If I go back, I'll be more sad and depressed than I am currently. Just ranting it out here cuz nobody gives a fuck. If there is one thing I'll recommend you guys, it'll be this: Be nice to other people. You never know what struggles they are facing on a daily basis.
All I can say is .. hang in there buddy. Things always get better. I have been there .. and what helped me the most is to keep myself busy. Distractions are the best, volunteer ...
You need to see a therapist and get help. There is no shame in it.
Being a couple is overrated.. it comes with a lot of compromises.. enjoy life and have fun while you are still single
I think being single comes with a lot of compromises
Well for a start you have to compromise on your comfort and normal life to find a new hobby every weekend. You have to compromise your desire to go to a fancy restaurant for dinner as a single person. You have to compromise your desire to go on vacations as solo trips have become boring. The list just goes on.
DM me, ill help you
+1, we are anonymous but please, reach out and understand that the world is full of people ready to help.
Always remember, its not as bad it looks....you worked hard to get what you want for your professional life now you have to grind for your personal life too..first get a positive attitude towards it and then approach people..meet ppl not just for relationship but to increase your social intelligence and acheive distraction from any form of negativity....instead of pondering at home, go to gym and get an active lifestyle...
hey bro, as a fellow indian who's been through a similar phase, I can relate to what you're feeling. Staying alone in the US is tough and not having an emotional connection with anyone around you can take a toll on you. The only advice I can give you from my own experience is just be yourself, don't try to become what you aren't. Don't be desperate/needy, and socialize for socializing sake, not to try and find a girl. Speaking from my own experience, I realized I wasn't going to end up anywhere trying to find the right companion through meetups/socializing and so I decided to get registered on various arrange marriage sites. I was lucky enough to find an amazing girl who turned out to be a perfect match for me, and the past three years, I haven't felt one bit of depressed and it's like living at home in India. Approach everything with sincerity and positivity, and see how fortune smiles on you 😊 PS: DM me if you want some motivational talk or if I can help you in any way.
I feel you... been there, felt that. Better health through chemistry dude. Your emotions are a biochemical result of your hormonal balance which is hugely influenced by what you eat, the lifestyle you maintain (i.e.: whether you work-out (I.e.: strength train), sleep well and control stress levels). There is a way out. Change your diet - go paleo. I don’t care if you’re vegan. I was se-Asian vegetarian for 33 years before going paleo-keto. Read - learn your way out of the problem. Here are some books to get you started, that helped me through my darkest days: Physical Fitness: - The Paleo Diet: Dr. Robb Wolf - Wired to Eat: ditto - Body by Science: Dr. Doug McGuff Mental Fitness: Essay: The Iron and the Soul As a Man Thinketh: James Allen The Seven Habits of Hoghly Effective People - Dr. Stephen Covey Man’s Search for Meaning: Dr. Victor E. Frankl Each morning: YouTube channel - MotivationGrid
Good luck!!! :-) again, DM me if you need further help!
Have you considered therapy, can be a great help. I have had the right therapist help me out of some dark thoughts, not your situation but still
+1.. you can also do some self help https://youtu.be/fTkdd9Grm4Q