My wife dedicates most of her free time to browsing and sending direct messages to male Instagram users. One of these individuals frequently uses strong language in his posts (he's known for his playful and edgy content), and my wife has been completely captivated by him for the past six months. She follows and comments on all of his accounts and posts across various platforms like Instagram, YouTube, Telegram, and Twitter. She's even gone the extra mile by creating Twitter and YouTube accounts solely for the purpose of leaving comments on his videos. From my perspective, it appears that she's attempting to grab his attention by crafting humorous messages. Just yesterday, I observed her sending a direct message to one of his posts with a comical message and the Instagram user replied with strong language. She was absolutely delighted by his response. She had concealed all of this from me until I grew suspicious due to her peculiar behavior and decided to investigate her direct messages to him. When I confronted her about it, she became angry and eventually claimed that it was all in good fun and a way to cope with stress and boredom. My concern isn't about her maintaining active social media accounts or the Instagram user's use of strong language in his responses, as it seems to be his customary style. What genuinely troubles me is my wife's motives. It appears that she has an excessive infatuation with him, is seeking attention, and derives immense joy from his responses. She even mentioned in one of her direct messages to him that she started going to the gym because of him. Have any of you ever found yourselves in a similar situation? What do you consider to be appropriate boundaries for online activities within a committed relationship? Am I overly reacting here? TC: 180k YoE:1.5 yrs #marriage #relationships
Cyber affair
I wish you hadn’t married her but get rid of this bs before you get cheated or she leaves you
She’s got a crush on him. Soon, this obsession could turn towards someone in her day to day life. You are finished at that point. Run while you can and find someone more refined.
I don't agree with the first paragraph. It is not about women or men. The lines are very clear here regardless of the gender. The intention speaks. I never said she is a cheater. Up to this point, she has never cheated on me. I talked to her. She denies that she likes her and said: He is a virtual entity and it is just for fun. She blamed me to be very sensitive and said I need to see a psychologist.
This is completely unacceptable in a marriage. Why the fuck do I marry a woman who’s not 100% into me and is obsessed with some other guy and creates multiple accounts to message him? You are comparing apples to oranges. Being interested in monks and trolling people online doesn’t cross relationship boundaries. Privately messaging someone of the opposite sex and being defensive about it is
Man you married the wrong one
She has a void that something else is filling. Try to find some new things or activities to fill that void. Could be more effective than trying to stop the old thing (Instagram addiction).
This💯
Women don't give men attention unless they are interested in them. Run.
She’s missing attention from you and has been trying to get somewhere else.
Does your wife actually have a job? What kind of adult has that much free time to spend on social media?
So she’s got a crush on a guy online? I would be concerned that he’s messaging her back. I guess it’s not the same as posting random sexy firemen calendars. Talk to her though. Does she have a boundary she’s not willing to cross? Is this a crush?
I guess it is. Though she denies. She says all of this is for fun with no intention. She got very mad of me when I asked.
Without your wifes perspective it’s hard to say. The defensiveness could be a cover or there’s something else going on. If suggest some marriage counseling as this seems like a big issue