Hey guys sorry for the long post but I can really use some advice Thanks in advance to those that read the post and provided any comments and insights. Overall I'm very confused about career and marriage and looking to get some pointers on how others have dealt with these issues. I'm 36 single male living in nyc. I'm a college grad, have a degree in accounting, worked in asset management for five years, then spent five years in asset management technology. During the technology years, I was consulting and always moving from city to city, during my free time, I picked up real estate investing and option trading. Over the years the portfolio got bigger and well, checks got larger. End of 2018 my contract ended. I spent all of 2019 revising my resume, networking and applying to jobs. Most offers came in lower than what I get from my RE, simply to read a few reports, so I declined them. 2019 I expanded my RE business further and put in about 600k into option trading. Overall my net worth is about $2.5m with expected $300k a year with minimal efforts. Overall, I'm very simple and humble. Relationship - I met someone on a dating app during my first year as a consultant. At first it was mostly sex and going on dates. I was very clear to her about what I wanted in my significant other - mostly the basics - college educated ( medical, cis, finance, etc), goal oriented, ambitious, family oriented, etc.. She played along and pretended she was the person I was looking for. Year three we started talking about marriage. Year four I agreed to have our parents meet. Three days before the meetup, she opened up to me that mostly everything was a lie. She has a psych degree ( not a cis), doesn't have a career ( sold random stuff online and helped her parents business). Overall tho she is very smart. I was shocked she lied but even more pissed at my self for falling for that. I spent 4+ years trying to convince her to start a side hustle, invest, molding her, thinking we would get married one day. But I guess I was to occupied working and investing, so when we did hang out, we rarely talked about work, tho she did come to multiple real estate auctions with me where I dropped 50-100k cash. Career - I have a decade of experience in RE. Overall I love it, but to truly scale you need lots of money, which I don't have. Raising opm costs money as well, that then eventually turns into a job. Professional career - I barely get call backs and most offers are in the $100k range. If I spent 60 hours a week between getting ready for work, commuting, working, etc on my own business / trading - I would make this in 2-3 months. But overall I really miss the professional work environment --- this leads me to possibly going back to school getting licensed and going to be a professional trader -> to possibly open my own huge fund one day. This would require a complete career shift, 10+ years of dedication to get licensed, learn python, build track record, raise capital etc. At this point of my life I'm not sure if this is a good idea. I think it'll be extremely challenging to change careers at this age, while I have a huge void missing, marriage and kids. Cons about me - I am very frugal and I smoke cigarettes (the absolute one thing I hate about my self) I've noticed you guys give some great advice so overall looking to get people's opinions on these two very big topics, marriage and career. #dating #marriage #relationships #career #realestate
I am unsure of the advice you are seeking. Based on what I read, here’s my opinion. Personally: I would ask her if there is anything else she is lying. In fact, since she lied, I would ask her to share her financial details to make sure there aren’t huge financial liabilities she is bringing along. Not that it’s a breaker but you need to know that after spending several years. If everything checks off, you can go ahead with the marriage with prenup. Professionally: TBH, 10 years of prep is too long of an investment at any age. Given where you are, I am not sure if you can afford to do that. However, you do need to better understand what you want in life. A first step to that is laying out all the options you have. What you are currently doing is one option, 10 years of investment is another, so you need to find a couple more options. Then talk to a career coach or ask folks here but with very clear options.
I tried this but obviously it was nothing She recently started working a new job making $80k a year... Nine months in the first thing she did is buy a model 3
So what ended up happening
Do you have a prenup? What she did is horrible and I would not trust her with my money. At all. If you divorce does she get half of that $2.5M NW?
I don't think they are married.
Not married - Were dating and the topic came up, she opened up two days prior to That's why I wanted someone financially savvy, basic career, etc..