My parents need only money from me. I supported them since I got my first job (10 years ago). They are the typical parents who don’t give affection to their kids. It’s a norm in the 3rd world country I’m from for earning kids to support the family, especially if you migrate to USA. So I paid my dues, bought them house, car in their country (all cash) and gave them lots of cash every month, for siblings too. I spent 100s of thousands of $. I live frugally in USA so that they can have good life because I genuinely care about them. When they come to visit they shop in Nordstrom, Macys and buy quality items. I thought they appreciated what I was doing for them. Boy I was wrong. For the first time I needed their help they were not there for me. I was extremely ill and had spine surgery while I was 4 month pregnant. I had to learn to walk all over again and I needed for someone to help me, but they didn’t offer to come and help during the difficult times. I was angry so at first I didn’t invite them to come for the child birth. But the parents insisted to visit and help out so I accepted. Months passed and I accidentally overheard when they talked very bad things about me and my husband, that I have never imagined. These were very vile things to hear from a parent, especially when my husband went out of his way to help them and be nice to them. They basically called me idiots, evil, toxic, God hates me because im not religious enough for them also I was faking my illness (I spent months in hospital and physical therapy), they said that I buy them cheap s*** that’s not good enough for them (growing up they couldn’t even afford second hand clothes) and many many more toxic things. I am hurt and I couldn’t unhear what they said. It was long conversation and I decided to listen to all of it, I know it’s not nice to eavesdrop but I was shocked and couldn’t help it. Now I’m gutted and don’t want anything to do with them. They returned to the house I got them back in their country and continued to talk how horrible of a person I am for not apologizing to them and trying to cause conflict between me and my siblings. My siblings think I should kick them out of the house. What should I do? Cut them off permanently or just continue to be family? TC: 500 #family #parents #money
If a kid is out of line, it’s parents responsibility to teach them a lesson. Now you be the parent and teach them a lesson. You don’t have to stop having them in your life, but absolutely stop sending money or taking care of their pleasures. Then see how things go. If they turn around, you can decide to mend the relationship.
They will return back. They want money, free US trips, house..
Sad kid. You have not woken up. You don't deserve anything in their eyes.
Bro…have some self respect and cut them off
You mean Sis?
It’s difficult to change their mind.. it’s not a movie where they will change and tell sorry to you.. Move on, you did enough good things in their life. Good soul make you hear all real characters to you.. Wake up and live for you and your family.. Keep in mind - The Family you created is more important than family you came from …..
Well. Most parents don't teach their kids self respect. You put them on a pedestal what else did you expect in return.
I feel stupid for giving them too much care and respect… you are right!
Can I ask you which country? I’m just curious, although it’s irrelevant. If I were you, I would atleast temporarily cut them out until they realize what they have done
Entitlement gets everyone, even seniors. They are entitled teenagers in senior body. Raise them right way. Be an adult mature person here. Lower their expectations. Don’t look for their validation. It is like parenting… they will not like you. But that is ok.
Sorry that you have to go through this. If I’m were you, I will talk them through and will make sure they understand and appreciates it..I won’t break my relationship for sure..one more thing, if they can support themselves then I don’t see a reason why you should support them financially...
Nobody should tolerate toxicity to this extent. OP's mental and physical health and sanity are worth much, much more. Frankly, her parents sound like they need psychotherapy. Anyone treating their child like they did, is seriously mentally ill.
Thank you, I actually tried to talk to them many times before I booked their flight. Each conversation ended up in yelling and more insults towards me. My siblings held zoom call to defuse the situation and because they didn’t side with them it made them more angry. I feel like it triggered postpartum depression and my husband had enough and booked their flight.