Physically and mentally exhausted trying to convince parents to agree to a partner of my choice. Orthodox Indian Parents. I want to evaluate my option of just going against their will. Wanted to know if Blinders have done this and what was the outcome? Any suggestions, tips would be very helpful.
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What's your option? I ask this to understand how orthodox your parents are.
My option as in? My parents aren't agreeing at all. Been trying for a few years. I don't want to give up on my SO either. I'm just trying to convince them as much as I can but I'm not sure if they'll ever agree.
How much is your SO different from what your parent think as ideal.
There are two ways for this IMO: first talk to parents and tell them seriously your wishes, after all we are in 2019, they may listen. Second option is to divorce yourself from them, get marry then comeback 5 years after you married, maybe by then they will assimilate things?
Been talking to them about this for a couple of years very seriously. They're not willing to get their thoughts upgraded to 2019. I'm just worried about a few things to do the second option and wanted to see if someone has actually experienced the second one.
Tell them life is too short for this drama. If it's religion your parents are not accepting then take them to a counselor.. talk it out.
I think it’s a norm in india, ur parents choose whom u gonna fuck the rest of your life 🤣. I guess it takes a generation for that to change
Will take more than a generation. A lot of fucked up orthodox people out there.
Okay, I get it. I know your folks’ type exactly. Listen, your mom will hate your wife no matter what. So marry whomever the fuck you want. It’s all the same in the end, anyway.
It's not my mom. It's my dad who is against it. Going against their will scares me. Because, it will cause a havoc between my family and partners family. Both would end up hating each other. Also getting one family to agree when other doesn't is so much harder!
Meh. Once you have kids they’ll forget all about it.
Does your parents hate your partner specifically or they just want to choose for you, not knowing who she is? Are you willing to leave your parents until you have kids? Then trying to reconnect?
They know my partner for years. Caste, Horoscope BS. Am I willing to leave parents? Tough question to answer. They're getting old and might need me. I've a sibling to support too. I'm not dependent on them in any manner, at this point I'm okay to lose my "good" relationship with parents and patch it along the way. I'm worried how I'd be able to convince my partner's parents when my parents are against it. And, both of us going against our parents - would cause so much stress and broken relationships.
If it is the caste and horoscope BS just send them money, and patch up the relationship later. My parents have friends who went through that and married the ones their arrangement, end up in divorce in the 40s after one kid, don’t listen to that BS. Support your parents still, ignore the request to meet until grand children arrive. Alternative is don’t let them know you are married and ignore those match making attempt.
Fuck 'em. What's the big deal ? They pick your socks too every morning ?
Are you from India?
They are going to die one day and you will be left with the consequences of your own actions.
U need some leadership skills. U gotta be firm and if u r independent stop asking them and maybe its time to tell them!
Well, I've been firm and have been telling them. Not really sure if you're Indian. This is one area where folks who've been brought up in an orthodox Indian family can understand.
I’m not indian but this was common thing a generation a go in most countries- things might get ugly for couple of months but eventually they will settle down, they are your families they won’t cut the bond for this reason
What will happen if you do whatever you want to do?
Drift between my family and me. Partners family might not agree as my parents aren't agreeing. My partner will end up having a sour relationship with them.
YOLO. Do what makes you happy
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Thanks.