By which date to open up about past relationships?
By which date should one talk about significant past relationships? Especially if it went till getting engaged/married/divorced etc? I feel the person I am seeing has a past (just with reaction to certain things) and as much as I want to respect privacy I feel at some point its good to know too. It helps know the other person better. I know its a lot to do with comfort levels etc. but I am curious if I could ask or maybe share about exs that could help the other person open up? We have a great time together, lots of chemistry and banter. But somehow have not had the chance to have a moment to get into the deep talks. Is there a set number of dates by when one should share such details or its totally fine to not mention until its something serious or we are exclusive?
28.5 days. Everybody knows that.
It depends. If you and your prospective partner have dated a lot it doesn’t matter to get into the details and you may not talk about it much. If either of you were married before, that should come up really quickly. But early on in life, when people are likely to compare a current beau to an ex and haven’t dated much, it can be worthwhile to bring them up to reassure them that you’re not hung up on said ex.
You should be discussing that on your first or second date before getting into anything physical. Heard of STDs??
Fact
Ask about STDs??
Why think about it so much. Sounds like you’re having a lot of fun so just ask.
I think when she’s ready to talk about it, she will. I know about some of the guys that my wife dated but don’t know the full picture and I don’t need to know. I know there’s a lot of past hurt there for her but she’s made peace with it all. If she wants to talk about it with me, she knows I’m down to hear her out.
Yes but if it’s like they were engaged/divorced isn’t it better to know sooner than later?
Well yeah sooner would be better but tbh stuff like that has a habit of coming to the light. If y’all are serious about the relationship, it’ll come up organically without you having to ask.
First date
Earlier the better. I dated someone whose wedding was called off just a few days before the wedding day(I got to know this from a friend of her whom I went to college with and is a very good friend). I went on four dates with her but she never told me, I lost my emotional attachment and started to see things differently, I firmly believed she didn’t trust me. We didn’t move further and the question never raised. Don’t assume anything, ask why your guy’s reaction weird about certain things? This might lead to the deep talks you’re expecting. Or ask flirtatiously how many girls he has dated/been with before? What made him attracted to them?
I don't personally believe knowing everything really helps. In fact it might bother you even more. I prefer not to ask a guy about his past much. Though it's important to feel comfortable around the person and feeling free you actually can ask. Still their choice whether they want to go in details or not, but you most likely will understand what brings some of the reactions you've noticed. Just asking something like "hey, is there anything I should know or you wanted to share about this" should do the job. If she feels comfortable to tell, she will, if not - don't take this as an offence. Of course this doesn't cover corner cases where information can be a deal breaker like STDs, marriage status, etc.
We had about 4 really good dates but to due to travel etc there was a 2 weeks gap in between the 3rd & 4th. Also, it’s just me but I can’t be 100% till I don’t know it all & same time share it all.