Career vs Family
Really not sure what to do Blind. I am stuck deciding between my career or my family. So Google has approached me to interview for a Dev Relations role working in AdTech. It pays well. Problem is that the role would mean I would have to relocate. My family are amazing and have kept me going through really bad times. I am in my early 20's. My mother, who is usually really happy about me getting interviews, is, for the first time, not happy as she knows I will be moving away. She said she will be very lonely when I'm gone (it's true, as my dad works night shifts and due to my sibling being younger and therefore ignorant of our situation, no one talks to my mother aside from me). Really at a loss because I'll be heartbroken if I move away. I can still visit on weekends but it won't be the same. But lack of money has made us miserable even though we all have worked tirelessly to fix it. This is an opportunity that I can see fixing that problem. On the other hand, my parents don't have much time left and every moment away from them makes me miserable. I remember a quote from Steve Jobs on his deathbed: "Aside from my work I have little joy [...] in the darkness I look at green lights from life support machines and I realised that we should pursue other things than just mere wealth [...] Non-stop pursuit of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me". What do I do? What would you do?
If you move, do you really think you’ll come back EVERY weekend. That’s ridiculous; you need to live your own life. If you are realistic, you’ll come back maybe once a month. That means that for every year your mother still lives, you will only see her an average of 12 times. If you’re cool with that, then go for it!
Not quite agree with this. 12 times is still a significant amount of direct presence. You can do facetime kind of things every week (or more) and that will surely help in maintaining the closeness and the good relationship. Plus, you can make decent money and come back in 2-3 years. Time flies fast and you can be back before you even realize.
An interview means they like you. An offer means they want you. Google doesn't want you, yet. Get to that point first. A bond with a parent is very important, but at some point you may need to go adventure and this may be your chance.
This is what I keep thinking too. Now is my chance definitely. The role also requires frequent travel so I'll be out of my comfort zone for sure but it will give me a career/skill boost
I moved away. It was tough but it was a necessity to grow personally and professionally.
First, get an offer and ask time, maybe a week, to come back with your counter offer. Never accept an offer without negotiating. Second with your offer in hands, discuss with your mom, dad and sibling even younger age, as a group and explain them your dilemma, make it a family decision. Draw them the picture so that your mom can get more support if she herself will have to make peace with leering you go. Talk to someone else you trust and who’s closed to you and your family if you can. Whatever you decide, remember there is no clear cut to your problem and that if you are happy when you stay home, then wait for the offer that will keep you home, because it may not be about your guilt for your mom, but the happiness she provides you. If you decide to stay ask yourself how long will stay so that your next thing will be to empower your mon, dad and sibling to be ready for the separation one day.
I has been living abroad for 7 years. Each next year I see my parent less and less. At some point, I meet them once a year. It is very sad, because in your 40s, career and money will not make you happy, but parents get only older. Personally, I would prefer living separately from parents, but in same state at least.
Personally, this is my biggest fear 😔
If the offer will be very good you can move your mother and let her live a better life. Chances like this doesn't come often, family should understand. A real loving mother would not let her son miss a great opportunity so don't feel guilty, she may just not be aware of how good Google is so educate her
You have only one mother. When she's gone, you'll regret you missed opportunity to be with her sometimes. And your job does not love you, they'll kick your ass out when they need that, and noone there will ever remember who you are.
Lot of advises here tell you to get the offer first, but I would strictly advise against it. Until unless you are sure that you can relocate, do not interview with Google. If you get an offer, you will regret eitherways. If you let go of the offer, you will kick yourself for many months. If you relocate, you will miss your family. It is easier to walk away now knowing that you never had offer from Google.
Are you still breastfeeding or what? Stop being a sissy and get out there junior. Life is your oyster.
You have to weigh the pros and cons. From your post, your family is tight in money. Would having extra money solve any of your family’s current problems? If Yes, work for Google, build up your savings, then after a few years move back home. You’ll have money and Google on your resume. You might even be able to stay with Google, move to a lower cost city and bring your family with you. Money doesn’t buy happiness but when you don’t have enough, it sure solves a lot of problems.
Get an offer first. Show the offer letter to your mom and she will say go. I have two kids. I will be happy if anyone or both get a job at Google in a distant location over them being near me.