My GF is working a low paying job, with a long commute. My TC is like 4 times hers. I like my job and the future of my career is bright.
She constantly complains how much she hates the Bay Area and asks why people even live in this "shit hole". She keeps saying that she doesn't want to live here long.
I know that given time, she can work a much better job with TC comparable to me. But she's not willing to give it time. I feel that it's starting to strain our relationship (been together for 5 years).
What can I do? I don't want to leave my job at all...
Is there a point that I can make to comfort her a bit?
EDIT: TC 210k
- VMware 9inchguymoreJust curious, in what industry does your GF work to get such a shitty salary in Bay?
- Should be an easy switch from nvidia to something in Austin.
FWIW you’re going to be stuck as a single tech guy in the middle of a giant sausagefest if she decides she’s fed up with it and dumps you to move away. There’s a good chance you’ll move away too then.
- Most cities are similar but Bay Area is just worse unless you move to Texas
- This is hard. I had to end a relationship with one who wanted to move to India, another who wanted to move to Europe and a third who hated my long hours.
Talk to her more. There are chances that there might be more incompatibilities and this is just the crack. See if you align on everything else. If Bay area is the only problem then head to Seattle.
- LinkedIn hellomotoI felt the same before I got a job. I constantly wanted to move back to Seattle. For me, finding hobbies and friends helped! Going to different places around the bay (Monterey, Napa, Yosemite, etc) helped me appreciate the area as well. Hope everything works out for the best!
- New vvnT76Is there somewhere you can live where the commute is short for her and long for you? It sounds like you made it a bit better, but maybe not enough better.
If not why not?
It also sounds like you have another issue you need to determine. I moved to follow my SO's job. She loved the job for a while, I hated my job, and the area too. Really me being unhappy with my job is what drove my dislike of the area. Mind you the area isn't great, but I'd get over it if I was happy at work.
Ultimately changing jobs is our fix. This coincides with a change in locale, but only due to needing to pick an area where both of us had better job prospects than here.Dec 61
- New / EngEjDf82Just be honest with her and tell her how much you love the Bay Area. When she says she hates it tell her you love it.
- Is there anything you can do to help her achieve the desired TC sooner with a better commute?
- Juniper scandeepWill your TC be enough to convince her she can stay at home and or not having to go to work? If not dump her and let her leave the shit hole.