How to improve your Personality to become attractive to women?

Microsoft KxOx70
Oct 31 53 Comments

Question for women on Blind

I keep reading that women are attracted to guys because of their personality. Never quite understood what do you specifically look/mean when you say personality.

I am single and not so good looking. I could use your help to make myself better in dating space. What does the personality even encompass? What can I do to make my personality stand out to be more attractive to you and women in general? Please be sincere and tell the truth. What turns you on in a man about his personality where you may be able to compromise on looks?

If you can be exhaustive and list basic and advanced things that a man can be that will make him stand apart from the rest easily, it would be helpful. Please be kind, honest and helpful.

Please mention your age group and Gender in your response if you are okay with it.

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TOP 53 Comments
  • Brightcove moosepuck
    For starters don’t ask questions like this. Be yourself, don’t worry about advice from strangers on the internet. Confidence is key and the easiest way to be confident is to be sure of who you are instead of trying to be someone you’re not.
    Oct 31 1
    • Microsoft nutzzipa
      This is getting dating advice from hot people . Be yourself only works for people who won the genetic lottery
      Nov 1
  • Facebook bl@ckmamba
    Never ask a woman how to attract women. It’s like asking deer on how to best hunt them.
    Ask men who are successful in this area.

    My advice- be mysterious. Keep women guessing. Women aren’t attracted to guys who are an open book.
    I recommend reading ‘become the 3% man’
    Oct 31 4
    • Amazon aminew
      This seems very wrong!
      Oct 31
    • Facebook bl@ckmamba
      It works though.
      Oct 31
    • Bloomberg GO<GO
      2nd paragraph is total BS, but the advice to ask men is spot on.
      Oct 31
    • Sirius XM / Product bOqC28
      I have read 3% man several times. Had an ok dating life beforehand, and it got much better after reading that book.

      Highly highly recommended for OP.

      I went from: “why did she lose interest?”

      To: “ohhh. I see what I did wrong that one time with that one girl”

      To: “(in real time) she is doing xyz as a test. This means she’s interested in dating/sleeping with me. If I respond this way, it will raise her attraction to me and we’re going to hook up.”
      Nov 15
  • New BAiM58
    Don't give a crap about them, go to the gym, grow some confidence and you will find the one.
    Please don't be the beta craving for love. This exist in Disney not in real life. Women want men not boys.
    The most important part: concentrate on yourself.
    Oct 31 1
    • Bloomberg GO<GO
      ^ this. Trying to mold yourself to their expectations is universally a huge turnoff to women, even if they don't realize it. Always disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing is also a huge turnoff, so you're best off disagreeing naturally, as you would with any trusted friend.
      Oct 31
  • Bloomberg GO<GO
    The comment above recommending excellence in grooming, fitness, humor, humility and CONFIDENCE (the most important part) was spot on.

    When it comes to getting laid:

    Pure confidence and looks. Not giving a crap about her or her reaction while genuinely wanting to f*** her actually makes it easier, because it makes you more confident and seem more masculine to her. It sounds like you are doomed here for now because you care far too much about her reaction, to the point where you seek to mold your personality to her desires. Practice pursuing some slightly less attractive girls (who still turn you on enough for basic sex) and work your way up to the more attractive ones to build confidence. I know that's sounds terrible (and is ultimately unfulfilling), but it works in the short term if your goal is improving your ability to land quick lays and to become comfortable with sexual escalation on dates.

    When it comes to sustaining a relationship:

    All of the above is true, except you can treat her in proportion to your attractiveness differential. If her dating market value is lower than yours, you can get away with a lot. If it's not, then you'll have to make extra effort in the form of making her feel valued (whether monetarily or with lavish affection(s)). It's unfortunate, but true and works for women in the same way. To not waste time, just treat her as your equal.

    When it comes to finding and sustaining a relationship with the best woman you can attract:

    Turn her down if you're not excited about her. If you are excited about her and you guys have similar market value, then you may have to chase her for awhile if she's inexperienced, immature or on the fence. If she's more experienced and self assured (and less inclined to invest significant time in you before finding out if you're good in bed), then perhaps not.

    One last thing: NEVER buy drinks for women at bars. And if you want to date your equal and are willing to tell her so, split the check on dates.
    Oct 31 13
    • PayPal bagelWed
      It's also as ludicrous as a man who wants to go 50-50 for every single date. I don't blame the woman to act this way if her partner also insist to go 50-50 all the way. He wants 50-50, he gets 50-50. Taking care of kids is already HER contribution towards the household. You probably haven't checked childcare costs lately. In the Bay Area, daycares are around $2000/month per child. She staying home will save money, thus that's how she's contributing financially especially when there are multiple kids, from 8am til 6pm. Anything extras outside of those hours, like household chores, that's up to her discretion. For most women, if their partner isn't being a calculative a**, then I'm sure they would happily do laundry at home for their generous men who lovingly takes care of them back. Just a food for thought!
      Nov 3
    • Bloomberg GO<GO
      Any idiot can do laundry while watching kids. It's not like they and the laundry both require constant attention. Once the kids are old enough for school, she should be working again anyway
      Nov 4
    • PayPal bagelWed
      You're definitely up for a BIG SURPRISE once you have kids at some point in your life. The way how you undermine how difficult it is to take care of a child shows lack of knowledge and experience in that field. All the best in your dating life :)
      Nov 4
    • New BAiM58
      Translation of PayPal comments:
      I want a rich beta who worship me and do everything as he is told. If he doesn't listen to me he will be divorce raped and I will hurt him even more using his (maybe) kids.
      Welcome to my Disney world.
      Nov 4
    • Bloomberg GO<GO
      Agreed, or she's a troll. None of my female friends are like that.

      Anyone can put laundry in a machine while watching a kid or two, including a 14 year old babysitter.
      Nov 5
  • Highly recommend a book called "Models: Attract women through honesty" (models as in thought models). Great read about being true to yourself, no pickup lines
    Oct 31 4
    • Axtria 🐨 koala
      Do you really need books to attract women? These posts always surprise me
      Oct 31
    • ? Is it so weird to get someone else's perspective on something like dating? We read books on money, technology etc. A book is just someone's experience put down on paper.

      Do you need it? No... But if your interested i don't see why not see what others have to say on the matter
      Oct 31
    • Bloomberg GO<GO
      Totally agree. This book has a transformative effect on my dating life when I read it in my early 20's
      Oct 31
    • Facebook / Eng
      XTeR76

      Facebook Eng

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      Google, Microsoft
      XTeR76more
      I second this - get this book. Every hetero man needs to read it. It's exactly the advice you're looking for, and explains why the advice from earlier posters about confidence, not molding yourself to women's expectations, etc. is attractive.

      Women will each give you their own personal preference, but that's looking at the trees and missing the forest. The advice in this book really sums up the general approach of being a more attractive man.
      Nov 2
  • New KSMp50
    For me... Funny. Respectful. Kind. A little bit mischievous. Flirty. Big laughs and exuding an aura of happiness. I love it when someone has that positive air about them. It's infectious and makes me happy in turn.
    Oct 31 3
    • New / Mgmt mi gente
      Big laughs ? 😂😂
      Oct 31
    • New KSMp50
      Yup! As opposed to fake or small ones.
      Oct 31
    • SoundHound newrep
      I think he was emphasizing "laughs" and not the word "big". But your response still fits lol
      Oct 31
  • Cadence Mariposa
    Ask men who have more success on this area?

    A woman's expectation is personal. So I don't know if that will help. All of this doesn't factor looks- Groom well, workout, look fit, carry yourself confidently (not cocky), humor helps a Lotttttt, speak intelligently, stay humble.
    Oct 31 3
    • Google swinglyf
      This, exactly. The first thing I thought while reading this is that men have probably thought much more carefully about this than women have. I was surprised op chose to restrict their question to women.

      To cadence, I’d say that the line between confidence and cockiness is blurred and depending on context, cockiness is sometimes appropriate. Being disrespectful is not.
      Oct 31
    • Cadence Mariposa
      @google - agreed. I think I can put up with a lil cockiness, have zero tolerance for disrespect.
      Oct 31
    • Apple hfbrt
      What about the "connection" that women seek on first date ?
      Nov 4
  • Shopify ಠಠ
    Confidence and humour. Lead the situation. Don’t be needy, jealous or controlling.
    Oct 31 0
  • Facebook cochococho
    Being funny (but knowing when to stop) always helps
    Oct 31 0
  • Let me be stone cold honest here. I fall for a man who is at his best when with me. You don’t have to be a mango or a guerrilla to stand out. You need to make her feel comfortable, accepted, and give her freedom. Think of yourself as an incubator and create the perfect environment for the next person to grow. If you succeed at being that, not only will you get the girl, you may have a shot at having her for life.

    This is not about you, this is about her. Givers gain.
    Oct 31 2
    • New BAiM58
      @op this is a really bad advice. She wants a beta, basically treat her like a queen (and yourself like garbage or slave). You don't want that. You are the prize remember.
      Oct 31
    • Amazon y33tcode
      This would work if girls felt the same.
      Oct 31
  • New / Eng num123
    I am female. I have a male friend who is 150cm tall, below-average look, is a normal IT project management professional, has a beautiful wife, and hugely popular with both males and females. He is humorous, a seriously good listener, knows a lot of things, and very active in both sports and social activities.
    Nov 3 0
  • Salesforce cattleman
    “...[have] desire, whose strength is innate, whose silence is withholding” is a poetic way to describe it. Let’s break it down.

    You must have desires aka passions. Nobody likes a rock. You should have wants and show the proactive ness to pursue them. It’s better if your want is impactful. Like you want to change the world for the better. Or you want adventure. This makes you interesting.

    You must be strong and that strength is innate to your very being. It means being strong in both personality first and physically second. It means being a pillar. It means nobody can knock you down. You are so strong you don’t need to fight back, negative energy just bounces off of you. Exercise being positive. Don’t let anyone get to you. Be funny back to assholes such that you win. Aikido them with your personality.

    You must be so interesting that when you are silent, it is like the internet is down, or your phone is dead. You withhold the pleasure of your personality and give it only when you choose. This comes with having the first two.

    So there you go. Be those those things I guess. And confident 😛. But confidence isn’t a goal in itself. It’s an outcome of having experience. Can’t fake confidence.
    Oct 31 0
  • Indeed hhtt
    Worry less and you will be fine
    Oct 31 0
  • Uber J Levi
    Don't worry about this. Enjoy your life, and lie about how often you get laid just like everybody else does.
    Oct 31 0
  • New DataMo
    Don't stutter
    Oct 31 0
  • Palo Alto Networks NLP_ML
    No one says dress well, drive a good car and take to a fancy restrauant?
    Oct 31 2
    • New KSMp50
      Can't tell the implication of this comment, but for me I like a guy in sweats, don't gaf about cars, and going to fancy restaurants is fine for special occasions... Wouldn't want that super early in a relationship anyways
      Oct 31
    • Salesforce cattleman
      That’s not a personality description though. He needs to show how great of a personality he has during that fancy dinner
      Oct 31
  • Oracle PypPyp
    If you're good enough at faking a "more desirable" personality then you'll do great at attracting people who are a fake-good match for who you really are.
    Just be a responsible individual of whatever flavor human being most makes you happy.
    Oct 31 1
    • Bloomberg GO<GO
      So by being a faker, attract someone who is also a faker but actually a good match underneath? Sounds like a waste of time and effort tbh
      Oct 31
  • Microsoft tlKM06
    Be yourself. What may attract one person could repulse someone else. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being something you are not just to impress someone?
    Oct 31 0
  • Microsoft [hive]
    Become a person who they prefer over watching TV. The truth in any human relationship is that it's based on perceived value. Provide value, be someone who other people want, and you'll be in demand.
    Oct 31 0

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