And it stresses me out. I'm from India, I moved to US when I was 24 and now I'm 28. I feel like I'm just not physically attractive. Even if I go to gym, I never ever get a hint that anybody is sexually attracted to me. I don't have an accent, I've been told that I have a Persian accent. I'm a book nerd which helped me be more fluent in English than my fellow Westerners. I'm fit but I definitely don't dress as well as I can. I have a sister and I have seen first hand what objectification of women mean and what women really want when they say "Stop treating women like objects". I'm by no means claiming that I'm the best. But just like an average person, in some things I'm better than average and in others I'm not better than average. I have plenty of female friends also. One of them actually told me that she'd set me up with one of her friends but I got to fix my stink ( I know she means well). So obviously there are things I have to work on. But I feel like my face is too unattractive. I can't really fix that and it makes me sad. It really does. My face and my skin color. I'm 28. I feel like after I hit 30 or 32, it won't even matter what I do, nobody dates actively after that age. I don't like the prospect of spending my life all alone for the rest of my life. I really would feel unfortunate and that looks like a reality. Sorry this comes off as a rant. I wanted to ask you folks, is there a absolutely no way (besides just sheer luck) that I, as an Indian, will ever find anybody to go out with? I never get matches on tinder or anything either. So I have some data to back my feelings. And lastly, no, I don't think girls are shallow or anything. This much shallowness should be condoned as part of our humanity. It's a difficult situation and it's hard to point fingers at anything except my face.
Do you think being Indian has that much to do with it?
Rationally I don't. Sounds like a very red pill thing to say. But at least it seems like I can't get my foot in the door because of partly my skin color and stereotypes that come with it. And partly my face. I'm working on fixing all the other things. But it's sometimes difficult to keep myself motivated. This is honestly my biggest fear in life.
I think it does when it comes to getting your foot in the door
Ugly people get married and are loved too. Sometimes by beautiful people. The world is not as superficial as you think. Practice good hygiene, stay fit, build confidence and create opportunities to meet like minded females. You'll be fine.
Are you in clubs? Groups? Not sure what city but joining things like acro yoga, volunteer orgs....there's lots of ugly women with good hearts who need bfs :D. And you probably aren't that ugly. If you have a stink fix that. What's your self care routine? Shampoo conditioner, tea tree oil, dunno you can find lots of good otips online
I think fixed the stink. My friend is out to Portland but next time I meet I'm gonna ask her about this. Fwiw, maybe the stink was coming from my clothes. Sometimes I can sense that mildewy smell myself.
No I'm 5'10". I just feel like my face is not good. CTC is good. I make around 150k a year. But unfortunately I don't end up saving anything. Sorry it's tangential I know.
If a girl is not attracted to you because of your face or skin color, then she's too shallow for you. Being shallow is very subjective and relative. If you care about your skin color, then you're at that level. If you're really more intellectual than that, just keep looking.
Nonsense. If someone is not attracted to your face then, well they are just not attracted to you. Are you shallow because you don’t find a particular person attractive?
It’s ironic how in Indian culture your life is “over” after 30. In the US, you are just getting started! And white dudes/chicks spend 100s of dollars in spray tanning to get the color that you naturally have and ur thinking ur not attractive cuz of your skin color?! 😳😳 Ah the irony of life! 🙄😂😄
In fact, it's the opposite. In US if a 16 years old boy doesn't have a girlfriend, they feel they're left out or late. OP is concerned about having a relationship, not just marriage. In US having relationships starts in at the teenage. You barely find a person without any relationship (past or existing) in college. The marriage though is late in US.
Find an interest and go to regular groups around it.
What “stink”? Elaborate
Just have good hygine and be youself and confident. The right person will be attracted to u for u.
Posting this on blind won't help either. Maybe go to bars, speak with more people and get to know more people. And what were you doing when you were in india upto the age of 24? Did you not speak to and find girlfriends there?
I did yes. I dated three people there and I honestly loved all of them. I'm still in touch with all of them actually. We broke up due to different reasons. It seems like people in America are way more attractive than in India. They have tattoos and they have hair color. And in general, people just look so good. People in India are also nice. It's not like I only want to go out with white women or something. And I don't even stand in that competition I feel.
Looks matters only to get the first few dates. If you got to date 3 girls then something else went wrong that you are still single. I think biggest turn on for most girls is confidence and one of the biggest turn offs is desperation, both could be something you can work on. And secondly, even best of the studs don’t have a success rate of 33% so if you didn’t make in 3 dates just means that you need to keep trying. Good luck!