Me Too, But I Could Have Prevented It
I could have prevented it.
Don’t misunderstand this statement. I’m not saying it’s my fault. It’s not my fault. I don’t need to have a Good Will Hunting moment with you or any other stranger to understand that. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need your sympathy. I need to access your intellect. Because what we’re saying here, and what we’ve been saying for years, is stupid and unintellectual, mathematically improbable, and downright shameful.
It’s shameful that you social cherubs choosing to share all these pieces on why it’s men’s fault and they need to change, in doing so you have done the very opposite of what your “rape culture” conquest aims to do–you have taken the power away from women and given it to men.
Here's an example of the dodgy philosophy in question: https://norasamaran.com/2016/02/11/the-opposite-of-rape-culture-is-nurturance-culture-2/
This article puts the blame BACK on women and society. Like, if we just let men be more in touch with their feelings, they wouldn’t be so unnurturing and rapey! FALSE.
By putting all of the responsibility on men to be perfect citizens 100% of the time you have continued to send the message that women are helpless, powerless, at the hands of men’s sexual desires and that there is nothing they can do about it.
You. Are. Wrong.
Let me tell you a story. A story about a college girl who got blackout drunk and was raped, on more than one occasion. She said no until she was so incapacitated that she couldn’t anymore, and that’s when she forfeited her choice in the matter. She didn’t have a choice on whether she would get raped or not beyond damaging her ability to walk and form sentences. That choice was now in the hands of whatever man was around her at the time. Some of those men chose wrong for her.
When you get blackout drunk, you’re taking your choice away and trusting it with someone else. You no longer have the ability to choose if you want to have sex or not. Whoever wants to have sex with you is going to chose to have sex with you, or choose not to.
Should they choose not to? Yes. They should be a decent human being and choose to protect you and not take advantage of you. In a perfect world, every man faced with this decision would choose that. And that is what the rape culture movement campaigns for. Righteously, I might add.
But you’re forgetting something.
This isn’t a perfect world, you moronic pieces of garbage.
Stop preaching the gospel that women should be able to get blackout drunk whenever and on whatever occasion they want and expect not to be raped. You should expect to get raped. And you know what? To everyone reading this right now who feels slighted about that statement: I care more about you not getting raped, than I do about you feeling politically correct. Because I’ve been in both places. And feeling raped is a lot worse than feeling politically incorrect.
Go ahead. Tell me all day how I’m wrong for this sentiment. Tell me that I’m wrong for making women out to be deserving of rape in this situation (I’m not). Tell me how it’s mens’ responsibility to not rape us.
It’s not going to stop any one of us from getting raped.
You know what will stop women from getting raped? Choice. You mistakenly put our choice in the hands of men by telling them and society that it’s their, and only their, responsibility to not have sex with women who are incapacitated. But you are wrong.
We have a choice. We have a choice in every situation that involves getting wasted and being around men. We have the choice to not get so debilitatingly drunk that anyone who wanted to could take us to bed and do whatever they want with us. We have the choice.
“43% of the sexual victimization incidents (read: rape, sexual assault) involve alcohol consumption by victims”
If I had chosen to drink responsibly that night, I would not have been raped. I chose to put myself in a compromising situation, and I was compromised. You are playing a high stakes game anytime you choose to get wasted around strangers, and even “friends”. There is a chance someone you are playing with will rape you if given the opportunity. Why would you forfeit your hand? Why would you take that chance?
My humble (maybe not that humble) submission, is that you wouldn’t. These aren’t my emotions telling you that I feel that you shouldn’t. This is math.
“1 in 16 (6.5%) men are rapists.”
It is a mathematical fact and 6.5% of men will rape someone. If you’ve been debilitatingly drunk around more than a total of 16 men throughout the course of your life, you’ve most likely put yourself at the hands of a rapist. If you’ve made it this far in life getting wasted around lots of guys and have NOT been raped, then congratulations! You’ve won the rape lottery! Feel free to condemn this post and continue making yourself vulnerable to rapists, until it happens to you. And it will, probably, because math.
“But I only get drunk around people I know.” Yeah. I did too. Only 4% of women who are raped, are raped by a stranger. Most raped women (87%) are raped by a love interest, friend, or acquaintance.
“An American woman has a 25 to 26 percent chance of being raped in her lifetime (1 in 4).”
What the above statistic doesn’t reveal is that half of women who are raped were under the influence of substances.
“43% of the sexual victimization incidents involve alcohol consumption by victims and 69% involve alcohol consumption by the perpetrators.”
That’s 11% of all women in the US. 11% of US women have been sexually assaulted while impaired. This means that 43% of all rape victims could have lessened or eliminated their chances of being raped.
If you knew you could prevent your own rape, what would you do with that information?
(Assumptions: This post examines rape in the context of alcohol and other inebriating substances––about half of all rapes. These are not rapes that are the result of being drugged without one’s knowledge. This is not an examination of violent rapes where no substances are involved on behalf of the victim. Rape and sexual assault are interchangeable terms.)
P.S. The story is about me.