Indian arranged marriage case. Both me and my wife earn. Wife is in a temp job, not much earnings. Wife has a brother whose wife is not letting him spend on parents. While marrying me and my parents thought that since wife has brother, he will take care of her parents. So didn’t bother to ask much about her parents’ finances. Turns out my FIL does not have much saved for retirement. So now FIL is asking for money from my wife as my wife earns. I am feeling frustrated but my wife wants to give a monthly pension kind of a thing to her parents. We were happy before this but now there are a lot of quarrels between us because of this. How should I handle this scenario?
Monthly is a bit much? How much a month?
INR 15,000 - 20,000
What’s your TC? ??? You’re saying you cannot afford to give $250-300/month? I’m assuming it’s about the principle, but even then, that’s crazy. Her parents raised her for X years. She has a right to give them a good standard of living. Furthermore, YOU have that obligation too.
I give money monthly to my parents and FIL parents. Pretty common for foreigners. $1000 each. Best advice is just give... i am not Indian though. Wife doesn't work, also
You give $1000 each monthly?
Yes, $1000 each to both families monthly so I'm out $2000 every month. My parents came to US in their 40s so they didnt get a chance to save much and FIL lived paycheck to paycheck most of their lives
Why didn't the FIL save? Maybe he's the selfish one.
He assumed that son will take care. So didn’t bother much. Also, I think opportunities were not much at that time in India. Still FIL could have been more careful. It looks like he regrets it to some extent now.
Give man.. your wife will thank you for life.. trust me she will not forget
My dad gets pension and is well to do for middle class. Should I say that I will also give equal amount to my parents so that she also feels the pinch?
That’s insane. Why should she feel the pinch if you wish to give to your parents? Similarly you shouldn’t feel bad either if she decides to give anything to her parents. Both my and my husband’s parents have saved enough throughout their lives. But we still send $500 to $1000 every month to them. He never questions me how much I’m sending and neither do I. They have spent so much on us to see us grow and be who we are today. They don’t need our money in any way but we still choose to send it because we want them to keep their savings for medical emergencies, traveling and enjoying life after retirement. Can’t believe people like you exists.
I wouldn't give more than $1000 a year. And I just say a thousand as a way to bundle up what you would have given your in-laws as bday presents and Christmas gifts. If you are considering a more significant amount, make it a one-time investment to get them on their feet.
My dad gets pension and is well to do for middle class. Should I say that I will also give equal amount to my parents so that she also feels the pinch?
Yes, it should be fair
Lesson: don’t do arranged marriages.
Its irrelevant to it being arranged. It's more of dont marry into family who doesnt not have retirement plans
That’s right. It’s not about arranged marriage. After a couple of years, both are almost same.
Arranged marriage is such a backwards ass tradition...
In nutshell, this is great opportunity for you and you are at right spot. As you have shown unwillingness already but tell your wife that she is more valueable than money and you are ok helping FIL for unfortunate situation. Irrespective of your opposition she is gonna give. Have a bigger heart bro and support them in need, and win your wife's trust. My dad is no more but my FIL supported me in critical hopefully you will not face any such situation but ...
How did your FIL help? I see no need of his assistance now
That's personal ... But I am surprised you are hesitent to spent 10$ a day to support your wife's parents. You might be intellectually smart but socially fool. I hope that too coming from money that is earned by your wife ... What you will do bro with all the money you earn, if your wife isn't happy ....
Delete Facebook, hit the gym, lawyer up
How can you suggest deleting FB to one of your customers?