Women in Tech

Women in their 30s - Are you worried about having kids in time?

New / ProductAutisticAF
Dec 22, 2018

This is solely out of curiosity because I have many female friends in their 30s but I only know one of them who is actually having kids. I’m wondering where people are / what situation they’re in.

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  • Yelp yovnskc
    millennials in general are not having kids because it’s too damn expensive, even if you and your spouse make 400k. Housing, daycare, etc. too much x-X
    Dec 22, 20189
    • Amazon / EngGHskann
      I’d be curious to see the breakdown of how 400k isn’t enough lol
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Lyft aWBv38
      350 barely enough for one single guy with some sort of savings.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Amazon / EngGHskann
      Yeah barely enough if you want 4 new cars
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Microsoft pJcW86
      Are blinders this detached from reality that 400k/yr isn't enough anywhere or just the worst financial people ever? Some of you need to take personal finance classes.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • LinkedIn 紅色貓咪
      400k is absolutely a minimum if you want good schools and need daycare in the Bay Area
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Yelp yovnskc
      Housing: 1-1.6 mil for a 2-3br house / good school district, 60-75k a year for daycare, 2 cars & insurance, any student loans/debt, 2 overseas vaca, and general cost of living. 400k is minimum and barely comfortable
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Fitbit / Data
      Makemeceo

      FitbitData

      PRE
      HotelTonight
      Makemeceomore
      This ain’t the Hampton’s lmao
      Dec 22, 2018
    • SAP kbron
      400k not enougth? No comments!
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Microsoft
      PopUpVideo

      Microsoft

      PRE
      Amazon
      PopUpVideomore
      Can you post a link to this daycare that costs $5-6k per month? 😮
      Jan 2
  • Microsoft zxql16
    I’m 35, single, want kids with the right partner. No partner. Sometimes I worry and sometimes I rest knowing that there wasn’t anyone in the past I should have had kids with so it’s not like I missed the right opportunity. I cry a lot but I’ve been trying to focus my energy on the opportunities before me: career and furthering my education.

    Edit: I’m female.
    Dec 22, 20188
    • Google JohnMcPop2
      Coffee?
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Fitbit / Data
      Makemeceo

      FitbitData

      PRE
      HotelTonight
      Makemeceomore
      I’m 30 and looking to date you down to kick it? Also my idol is ronaldo and I try to work my body out to look as good as him
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Google JohnMcPop2
      Should've posted TC dude.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • SAP kbron
      Pics?
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Amazon / EngGHskann
      I’m sorry, that sounds really tough. But focusing on your career is literally the worst thing you can do! If you want a partner you should focus on out-competing other women for being the best catch you can be. If you sit around longer, you will be in real trouble...
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Facebook Irb3&9
      Wish you the best, Microsoft. I’m 30 and was close once to marrying, but not mature enough at the time. I am now and but alas, single. Male but also want to start a family soon. Focus on being the best you in spirit, heart, and mind and be open. I’m trying to be too. Career and education are important, but secondary to being a good (emphasis) human being. Your future partner will see these qualities. That’s what life is about
      Dec 22, 2018
    • New / ProductAutisticAF
      OP
      Thats a good position to be in. Nothing like having the one that got away. That will sting for the rest of your life.
      Dec 23, 2018
    • Google UdhEr
      Hey, so I found a great partner and had a baby at 34. And now I wish I'd never married but just decided to have a baby on my own. My sister was a single mom and said she actually enjoyed it because she never had to negotiate how to parent with anyone else. What she said was the law. The first few months would be the hardest, but after that... You can do it without a partner.
      Feb 4
  • Amazon / EngGHskann
    I’d be terrified if were women turning 30 with no marriage prospects. Unless I didn’t want kids, then who cares I guess.
    Dec 22, 20184
    • You can always adopt.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Amazon / EngGHskann
      Sure but it’s not in any way the same. There’s an enormous biological difference. And the psychological differences are from different universes. Adoption does not symbolize nearly the same thing as the physical processes of having kids.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Amazon sev-0.5
      Speak for yourself. You should never, ever adopt.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • New #dnd
      @sev why not? I am curious.
      Dec 22, 2018
  • Credit Karma Fb_ftw
    With online dating now, generally the only women who end up single for long periods are individuals that are trying to date above their league. This is particularly disastrous for women, because they can score dates with men outside their league, just can’t keep the guys interested.

    Nothing wrong with having standards, just understand its inversely related with the probability of finding a partner who will stay with you.
    Dec 22, 20183
    • Amazon / EngGHskann
      Well said!
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Credit Karma keeping it real
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Salesforce
      uint8

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      uint8more
      Most of us are just looking for an emotional connection and security. Men who are emotionally open and are not scared out run to the hills when you open up to them are rare. There is really nothing like league.
      30+ year old women typically don't need material comfort from a marriage so TC and all really doesn't even matter.
      Dec 22, 2018
  • Salesforce PzVO12
    I met my husband at work. We were both mid 20s. Dated for ~5 years then got married at 30. Decided we both could not work at the same company in case of layoffs so I moved around and finally landed at Salesforce after a few stints at other tech companies. We traveled, dined out, etc. during our first few years of marriage and then we both came to the realization that we wanted something more. Weekends were repetitive and boring. We never wanted kids but then it just clicked for us. We had our first child when I was 36 then our second at 38. Kids have made our marriage stronger. I know this is not always the case but it just worked out that way for us. I turn 40 this year and now I’m more afraid something is going to happen to me and I won’t get to see them grow up. Its forced lifestyle changes I probably would not have made otherwise - all for the better. It’s a big perspective change from 10 years ago. When we came to the realization that we valued experiences and family more than material things, kids made sense....
    Dec 26, 20180
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Amazon / EngGHskann
      Reality is not going to change, and the longer you procrastinate the worse of a partner you will have to settle for. Time is your enemy.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • ☝️real talk
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Salesforce
      uint8

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      uint8more
      Not procrastinating. Acceptance has to be mutual. There's nothing you can unilaterally do.
      Dec 23, 2018
  • Microsoft Si3>¥m
    I waited to find the right partner and am really glad I did. We got married in our mid 30s and had our child in our late 30s. Single ladies out there - stay strong and know that you can have it all. Also, if you can, freeze your eggs. That gives you a lot more options when you are ready/have found your partner.

    Another option to think about - if you are self sufficient and ready for a child, why not go ahead and have the child? You don’t need a man to do that! I strongly believe that one should marry because the other person truly enhances your life. Not because of societal norms
    Dec 22, 20180
  • NewRelic BPrH48
    I'm really interested in the answer to this. As a nearly mid 30s guy I have zero interest in having a child. I still feel way too young / like I want to relax and enjoy my life before (maybe) going down that road.

    10/10 I'd rather play a video game, relax, or work on a hobby. I can't see how I can keep any of that sanity after having a child.

    I have a partner who's a few years away from 30 and am curious how other women here feel.
    Dec 22, 20189
    • New stuY17
      The key is the right partner and the same approach to raising kids. With that you should only be exposed to positive aspects of having a child. The problem is that the dynamic might change because once a baby comes along you are going to be something like number 6 on your partner's priority list (assuming you're a dude). It probably takes like 3-4 years for you to come back into the top 5.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • NewRelic BPrH48
      I never thought about dropping in priority. In all honesty that wouldn't impact me I think, they care way too much currently. I routinely try to get my partner to do more things with their friends or by themselves, as I feel it's hard for me to get time to just be alone.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • New stuY17
      May not be a bad idea then while you're still ratively young. Having a child of your own will then make you think about being a grandparent and starting at 45-50 doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room
      Dec 22, 2018
    • LinkedIn 紅色貓咪
      Never have children.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • New stuY17
      Oh thanks for that insightful response i can't wait to see your future responses 🙄
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Apple ijyA68
      If you are mid 30s and feel way too young, you are never going to be ready for kids. Just crank them out now. You will thank yourself in 20 years.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • NewRelic BPrH48
      It's very well true I may never want to have a child. I don't know how one's brain suddenly decides children are a good idea.
      Dec 22, 2018
    • New Gigzy
      Why do people think that everyone has to have children?

      I have a kid, but I don't judge people who don't (except the cat ladies who freak me out).
      Dec 22, 2018
    • Apple ijyA68
      I was literally you. Now I play video games during the kiddo’s nap time and pursue my hobbies early in the morning. You can have everything, just have to be ready to adapt to new realities.
      Dec 22, 2018
  • Comcast / Product
    nomad10038

    ComcastProduct

    PRE
    Amazon, Yahoo, GroupM
    BIO
    Innovator, problem solver, data geek, developing leadership and management skill
    nomad10038more
    The question reads like this to me, "EVERY woman should have gotten married AND having kids". Says who? (Prob my mom).

    While I could understand why some 30s women might be worried, just turning 30 myself, have not, in my whole life, concerned a bit.

    To be transparent, I am Asian and 1st generation immigrant to the U.S. So I could understand there might be pressure from friends & families. But i know my priorities and becoming a mother is not.

    Too many things I want to learn, too many places I yet to visit and I would love to work with non-profit in education. Plus, I have a somewhat busy social life. I truly appreciate what I have got in career and life; I don't need a husband or kid to make me feel "whole".

    If somehow I end up wanting to have one, I am happy to adopt.

    P.S. many of my friends, who are successful women in tech or other industries, over 40s, never married, no children.
    Jan 201
    • Amazon lfhska
      This makes me really happy to hear as someone in their mid twenties who doesn’t want to get married or have kids. How are you and your friends doing it though? I feel like my friends are in this phase currently where all they do is talk about relationships and marriage. It’s kind of getting on my nerves and I wonder how I will handle it when they are all married and have kids and I’m doing my own thing. It seems like I would be lonely if my friends have their own families/ stressed if all people do is ask me why I don’t have that.
      Jan 20
  • If you’re +30 and single direct message me and I’ll help you out with a deposit.
    Dec 23, 20183
  • Tektronix / Sales
    BlueBerd

    TektronixSales

    PRE
    Oracle
    BlueBerdmore
    I had kids at age 39. My gradmother was born to her mother in her mid 40's.
    Jan 300
  • Amazon ldJU35
    The number who don’t want kids is encouraging. I thought I was alone in feeling that way.
    Jan 100
  • New AFQu71
    Everyone is so tough now but then they wake up at 35 and realize not having kids was a mistake.... You can fix a lot of things but fixing this one ain't easy. Peace to haters.
    Dec 22, 20180
  • Blizzard Shiboleet
    "having kids in time"... In time for what?
    Jan 63
    • New
      iIIuminati

      New

      BIO
      I make stuff and I’m super into it.
      iIIuminatimore
      Before your good egg supply runs out aka between 35-40
      Jan 8
    • Blizzard Shiboleet
      That doesn't actually happen. A woman has hundreds of thousands of eggs at birth. Also new studies show that women may actually replenish their egg supply during their reproducing years.
      Jan 21
    • Google UdhEr
      Blizzard, hush. You are so misinformed it's ridiculous.
      Feb 4

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