This is solely out of curiosity because I have many female friends in their 30s but I only know one of them who is actually having kids. I’m wondering where people are / what situation they’re in.
millennials in general are not having kids because it’s too damn expensive, even if you and your spouse make 400k. Housing, daycare, etc. too much x-X
I’m 35, single, want kids with the right partner. No partner. Sometimes I worry and sometimes I rest knowing that there wasn’t anyone in the past I should have had kids with so it’s not like I missed the right opportunity. I cry a lot but I’ve been trying to focus my energy on the opportunities before me: career and furthering my education. Edit: I’m female.
I'm really interested in the answer to this. As a nearly mid 30s guy I have zero interest in having a child. I still feel way too young / like I want to relax and enjoy my life before (maybe) going down that road. 10/10 I'd rather play a video game, relax, or work on a hobby. I can't see how I can keep any of that sanity after having a child. I have a partner who's a few years away from 30 and am curious how other women here feel.
The key is the right partner and the same approach to raising kids. With that you should only be exposed to positive aspects of having a child. The problem is that the dynamic might change because once a baby comes along you are going to be something like number 6 on your partner's priority list (assuming you're a dude). It probably takes like 3-4 years for you to come back into the top 5.
I never thought about dropping in priority. In all honesty that wouldn't impact me I think, they care way too much currently. I routinely try to get my partner to do more things with their friends or by themselves, as I feel it's hard for me to get time to just be alone.
Reality is not going to change, and the longer you procrastinate the worse of a partner you will have to settle for. Time is your enemy.
☝️real talk
With online dating now, generally the only women who end up single for long periods are individuals that are trying to date above their league. This is particularly disastrous for women, because they can score dates with men outside their league, just can’t keep the guys interested. Nothing wrong with having standards, just understand its inversely related with the probability of finding a partner who will stay with you.
Everyone is so tough now but then they wake up at 35 and realize not having kids was a mistake.... You can fix a lot of things but fixing this one ain't easy. Peace to haters.
I waited to find the right partner and am really glad I did. We got married in our mid 30s and had our child in our late 30s. Single ladies out there - stay strong and know that you can have it all. Also, if you can, freeze your eggs. That gives you a lot more options when you are ready/have found your partner. Another option to think about - if you are self sufficient and ready for a child, why not go ahead and have the child? You don’t need a man to do that! I strongly believe that one should marry because the other person truly enhances your life. Not because of societal norms
If you’re +30 and single direct message me and I’ll help you out with a deposit.
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Still waiting ladies My deposit is ready
I met my husband at work. We were both mid 20s. Dated for ~5 years then got married at 30. Decided we both could not work at the same company in case of layoffs so I moved around and finally landed at Salesforce after a few stints at other tech companies. We traveled, dined out, etc. during our first few years of marriage and then we both came to the realization that we wanted something more. Weekends were repetitive and boring. We never wanted kids but then it just clicked for us. We had our first child when I was 36 then our second at 38. Kids have made our marriage stronger. I know this is not always the case but it just worked out that way for us. I turn 40 this year and now I’m more afraid something is going to happen to me and I won’t get to see them grow up. Its forced lifestyle changes I probably would not have made otherwise - all for the better. It’s a big perspective change from 10 years ago. When we came to the realization that we valued experiences and family more than material things, kids made sense....
I’d be terrified if were women turning 30 with no marriage prospects. Unless I didn’t want kids, then who cares I guess.
You can always adopt.
Sure but it’s not in any way the same. There’s an enormous biological difference. And the psychological differences are from different universes. Adoption does not symbolize nearly the same thing as the physical processes of having kids.