I just need some advice on my personal matter. I have a girl friend that I really like. Everything is really good I like her alot, but she has some minor health issue that Im concerned about. She has consistent back pain and tight muscle issue. She has been going to both chiropractor and physical therapist for a few months now, but it has not improved. We think that it is caused by her posture when she is working but not sure exactly why. The pain level is not that bad. I would say 5 out of 10. But I really dont like the fact that she has to go to doctors continuously and Im afraid that she will have to do so continuously and the pain may even get worse... Ive been worried about this for a while now and there is no sign of improvement. I think she can be a little more pro-actice about trying to look for solution, and I told her that. But still in my perspetive she is not doing enought eg) actually trying to fix her posture and using more ergonomic equipments at work. I feel like This continuous worrying is sometimes leading me to like her less everytime I think about this since I dont want my partner in life to be like this... But I dont want to tell her this honestly since I dont want her to think I wont like her if she is sick - which obviously cld be trust breaking. What should I do? what do ppl think of this situatuon? please share your thoughts.
Recommend Pilates and other posture related exercises. Not cheap but 200% worth it.
It doesn’t sound like you like her that much. Either say something or GTFO her life
Exactly. If minor back pain is so much of a .. pain in the back ... U r fooling no one.
My ex had chronic pain and it’s part of the reason we ended things
You could take her on a date to get a massage and another date for working out the core. It is the abdominal muscles that support that back. She also needs to stretch out the area around the collar bone if it is upper back pain - I learned this in a Google ergo class, the muscles work in pairs. Yoga stretching may help. Or laying down and rolling a tennis ball underneath near the armpit area. A massage therapist will have great tips.
But it sounds like you are more upset by how she is handling this problem - will she always be passive about the problems in her life? When she is faced with a problem, does she complain and worry continuously but will not put solid work into coming up with a solution? Yes those are valid questions to be asking!
You're asking valid questions. Points in time like these are important for you to determine who you are and what you want going forward. Unfortunately, others can't make the decision for you, nor should you let norms make the decision for you.
Do her some favor and leave her alone she does not deserve a douchebag like you.
The comments are making me real sad. I do like her alot even though I sometimes feel like our relationship is missing common interest that bind us together. I am not ready to break up with her at all. I would like to see where it goes for a little more. Weve only been dating less than a year.
Life is about going through both ups and downs together. Trust me when I say, minor health issue is not even the 'down' time. You gotta stick through. Help her out. My partner was more motivated to solve my problems than I was for myself, and I loved that aspect because he taught me how to love. Stay with her and get this sorted for her. You won't be doing her a favor, you will be fulfilling your responsibility of being a good 'partner'. As for the chronic back pain, join yoga classes together, get her a better chair, comfortable footwear, and constantly keep correcting her posture (a friend did this for me). Bad posture is a habit, it takes cautious effort to change it. Ensure she sleeps in the correct position, on a good mattress and pillow (I think firm mattresses are better than fluffy ones for back problems but you gotta do your research), get regular massages, buy an ergonomics mouse, use a standing desk with desktop at eye level.
Leave her. You don’t deserve her love. What if you get some serious injury after marriage? Do you want her to leave you because of the physical pain? I am sure she will be with you all the time and help in recovery because that’s what people do when they love someone. They help each other in bad situations instead of thinking about breakups and asking help on blind.
I believe your GF needs a posture & seating/standing during work evaluation from a certified ergonomist. It can be a posture, a repetitive stress injury ( RSI ) or the chair or desk setting. Usually every established organization would have an ergonomist to whom the employees may refer to - if not, consult one and I'm sure you'd see improvement in general well-being very soon. Also, Yoga can help tremendously - please do under supervision though.
Does her TC outweigh the annoyance?
I dont rly care abt her tc tbh. But i think its around 150k if that helps
Her TC is not going to help anyone. Obviously.