this has been bothering me from the dayy of marriage . he comes from a very good family and a great uni ,my parents always say love will come eventually .. but i dont feel any love.. sex with him hurt ..he always hits & i cried and cried to my mother but she says it will get better after a kid.... now we have a kid but he is worse !! days r great with kid but turns sour when he comes home.. i also want to take some classes but he hates the idea , says i need to take care of our girl how can i convince my parents ??
I'm so so sorry you are going through this and it breaks my heart to read this tonight. Are you in the US? There are lots of support groups where you can talk..I can understand how you feel that you need to stick by him and listen to your mother..but remember our parents are from a different time . Message me if you feel it'll help to talk to someone
^ This. Good number of Indian parents are still living with their old mentality. World is changing. After 10 years, you don’t want to look back and regret making a decision keeping your parents in the equation. Whatever decision you make, remove the goddamn parents from that equation and then make your decision OP.
Also maybe you'll feel better after a few days and think yea things will be okay..maybe they will be okay temporarily..what you have described is rape and domestic violence and you need help ASAP. We give too much power to our parents in India.. please please talk to someone about this.
“Comes from a very good family” ... I could’ve stopped there. Get a divorce. Fuck your parents, this is YOUR life, not theirs. You need to do what is best for YOU and YOUR CHILD. I know that’s easier said than done (and clearly represents a difference in cultural ideology) but that’s my honest advice.
It also sickens me to see when people have a decent education and do this in their lives. Just sick. I can't make an assumption but being Indian myself .I'm assuming you are Indian and this was an arranged marriage and you feel dependent on him. It is such a bad situation to be in .he should honestly belong in jail
yes its an arrange marriage
Divorce, take half his stuff, and use that money to start over in a different part of the country (or world)
Half his stuff and alimony*
Sorry about your situation. If he is well educated from good uni and if he come from good family. Just speak with him openly about this. If he can’t understand first, at least I hope he thinks about it. Tell him to masturbate. I am not sure how ppl enjoy other persons pain. Hope you will get better soon.
You don't need to convince your parents unless you are still financially dependent on them. The natural things of progression is 1.be financially independent 2. Seek help (local support groups, women group in your company, lawer, police) 3. Document abuse 4. Get custody 5. Find another man and live a happy life
Boring listening to parents is most stupid stuff to do unless they offer a good deal like 20-30 cr than May be
Separate now. Hope you have a separate bank account so that you don't have to deal with hardship. Parents don't need to be asked.
Leave. Now.
And get full custody. This is domestic abuse.
Yes, don't leave the kid.