Any advice from people who’ve gone thru this please.
I hope so! But at the same time, I hope to never find out.
I’m curious what your prenups say and how your spouses agreed to it.
I think the prenup should be the conclusion of a rational discussion about the financial contract that is a marriage. Just having that conversation is a good start and be open to “staying indefinitely as an unmarried couple and having children out of wedlock” as an option. Most of my friends choose that option in fact. I understand that in some parts of the world this is more acceptable than other parts. Then the prenup lists our financial assets before marriage, spells out alimony and set the amount of community property to 50% of our earnings, excluding investment income. In case there is a large dowry, you can put it in here. It helps avoid arguments at the time of divorce (eg: the large sum of $, was it a gift or a dowry, does it needs to stay with the spouse whose family gave it?)
What in the world
If you do it right. My fiance and I were going to do one (at my suggestion - he has way more $ than me, and I wanted everything to be clear), but after he met with an attorney, she said that I *have* to be represented by an attorney to sign a pre nup (CA law). I'm not an attorney but have a legal background, so this is ridiculous. We decided we're going to write everything down and sign it so it's still in writing, even though it won't hold up in court and we don't think we'll ever need it.
Why not just hire your own attorney?
You only need to be represented by separate attorney if the prenup restrict alimonies iirc. So you could have signed one without any restrictions on that subject.
Yes, valid in CA. But each party must have a lawyer, otherwise can claim they didn't understand. If each signer has a lawyer there is a presumption that the signers kn ew what they were getting into, which makes the agreement Much stronger. At least that is how it was explained to me.
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I paid $6k for 35 pieces of paper. Sure hope they are worth it!