I just got a new job where I went from ~90k TC to 190k TC. (130k base). My girlfriend of almost 1 year moved to the Bay area 2 months ago as part of a promotion but still only makes around 75k TC (~20k being commission). We've been living in Airbnb's while we look for permanent housing for a while. Total cost/month as of now is ~$2,400 for a month in a one bedroom airbnb and eventually around $4,000/month for an apartment in our ideal area. We're currently splitting rent 50/50. Is it wrong for me to want to continue splitting it 50/50 even though I make significantly more than her? Edit: Not sure if it changes anything but I'm not trying to pull her into a lavish life with my new riches. We both agreed on getting the more expensive apt before my new TC. Her opinion on paying just changed after she heard my new TC.
You’re not in the wrong to want to split it, but $2k/month in rent is unaffordable at 75k TC (with 20k being in commission). $1200 is affordable though. It’s unfair to want the better, more expensive, apartment and expect her to still cover half. She can’t afford that. She can still cover $1200 and it’s up to you to cover the extra $800/ mo if you want that apartment.
We both wanted the nicer apartment, even before I got my new TC. She's just rethinking after hearing my new numbers.
Being forced to keeping up with my prior SO’s income when they earned 2x mine caused resentment long-term for me. Felt like our relationship was a nickel and dime death march versus mutual reciprocity because I was pushed to keep up with a high bar for lifestyle. In the end, I cared more about experiences than things. Prioritize what’s important to both of you. Spending 30% of her income on rent will impact her ability to travel or participate in non-local friend/family activities without incurring debt. Good luck!
If you don’t split equally then you are paying for sex...
You're not right or wrong - It depends on the people on the relationship. you might as well have asked if it's wrong for you to want to do anal - only you and your girlfriend can figure out if it's something you two can do.
It's not wrong to expect half but it also isn't necessarily fair considering earning power. Life isn't about always getting 50/50 split. Figure out what matters to you.
I'm previous relationship (where we knew we wouldn't marry) we added income then figured out respective contribution %sv then used this to divide bills.
Are you completely stupid ? How come you can afford 4K house even in your new income and your GF income ? Can’t you find something cheaper with less sq footage and less amenities and but more commute in less than 2k
Bay area isn't cheap. Regardless of my new income 3.5-4k apartment was in the future.
If I was her I'd want to live elsewhere than pay 2k rent to live there on that income. She's there to be with you, you should pay a larger percentage since you're the one that wants and benefits the most from being in that area.
Split based on percent of total household income. You = 190k, 70% of income, $2800 rent Her = 75k, 30% of income, $1200 rent
By that logic she should just quit and live at home for free.
No decision is made in a vacuum. If your partner is someone that is taking advantage of you and/or your money, then you shouldn't be with that person. If your partner is someone that shares financial, career, and life goals, along with putting similar effort into them, then you can find compromises so that both partners can pursue their careers of choice while being treated fairly within the relationship.
One way I think about this is to visualize where you would have lived if both of you earned 75k. I assume since you earn much more now, you'd want to stay at a better place. So the excess in the rent (or a significant portion of the excess rent) should be picked up by you.
We agreed on apartment price before I got a new job. That's what makes it harder for me to decide.
You guys agreed to split 4K 50/50????? Dude your gf is crazy... she needs to take a personal finance class. She can’t afford this. Hell I make 200k and I don’t even want to spend 2k on rent. Is this gf long term? You really should evaluate if you guys have the same financial goals. Split the rent 50/50 if she insists on 2B2B. You guys aren’t engaged.
4k is a lot of money. That'll be 2k for her which is 30% of her pre-tax income. Is she okay paying that much? If so, sure. Otherwise, if you are the one yearning for a better place, you should contribute more.
Agree with this. Plenty of good 1 bedrooms closer to 3k in the Bay Area. Why not go for one of those? Then your gf can responsibly pay half
Gf was insistent on getting a 2 br before my new TC. She didn't have a problem paying til she heard my new TC.