Ending an affair. Excruciating.
Been married nearly 8 years. Husband is great (kind, funny, smart, attentive to me). He can be kind of a p*ssy, but honestly I knew what I was getting when I chose him, and on balance he's a catch. I went through a really dark place after I became a mom, and ended up in a kind of crisis. Lost so much of my identify that I found I needed to do something extreme to reclaim some semblance of autonomy. Instead of going down the divorce road, I ended up reconnecting with an old boyfriend. I thought it would be a short-term fix to get me through the dark time, but I ended up really falling for him. Pretty hard. And it was mutual. He proposed to me. I chose my marriage. I told the lover, and he gets it, though of course he is hoping I change my mind. Now I'm trying to fall out of love with him so I have a fighting chance of falling back in love with the husband. It's getting more difficult every day. This affair went on for more than 2 years. Maybe there's something from the collective wisdom out there to help me through this? (I mean, doubtful, given the toxic shit mostly posted here, but worth a shot.)
Flagged. OP asked a genuine question, stop demeaning her.
Let OP be the judge, princess! Else, I be very proud if my grand-ma was a bit salty in her younger days.
reddit.com/r/relationships is a better place for this; no offense intended but the people of blind likely won't have good advice for you.
Screw the family, go get yours!
you need to talk to a therapist, please don’t look for advice on the internet. get professional help.
Ditch the p*ssy, go for the man you really love. Life is too short not to be with the people you really want to be with :). On the other hand, what the f.. do I know to give advises ;p
Ya, you better shut the f up tbh.
TC?
$340k
You’re likely going to rinse and repeat the same thing with the other lover ex boyfriend if you left your husband. Might be fun for a few months, a year at most and pretty quick you’re going to fall in the same spot and look for the next fix. Try to understand what got you here in the first place, seeking comfort in new people is like moving cities to run away from something but that something is inside you and no amount of chasing will change it. Maybe a good starting point is to realize the irony in you saying the shit here on blind is toxic yet you yourself call your husband a pus*y instead of understanding him as a person. Your reap what you sow.
Yeah. That's why I chose the marriage instead of the lover.
...because you demean him with a self-deprecating insult? 🤨
Wow how did u manage affair, full time mom and also working at google (that too without ur husband noticing it ). I guess there is a lot of disconnect between 2 of you that even now he doesn’t know about it. I am sorry to say but personally I see that you would go back and cheat of him again, I guess be honest and tell it husband about the affair and have a open talk of what you need and why you did it. I still can’t get around the fact that no one noticed it
Seriously? Tell him? That's just a terrible idea that does nothing but hurt him and make our daily lives miserable. BTW I managed it without him noticing because I only saw him on business trips.
Might as well just divorce now if you don’t plan on telling him. No transparency = no meaningful relationship.
Marriage is about commitment. You aren’t always gonna feel like you’re totally in love with your spouse because marriage can be forever and shit happens. Lots of ups and downs. Time will help. Drop the lover and never look back if you want to make your marriage work. And then just be present. If it’s gonna happen again it will.
Thanks for this
Good story