How to divorce from such a woman?
I've been in relationship with her for 7 years and I got married to her 3 years ago. I thought she was the one at the beginning. But lately she changed by a lot. We have no kids. 1. She has stopped caring about herself and now she is very fat with double chins. 2. Our financial goals do not align at all. I'm more conservative, investing into future to be financially indepedent and secure but she has no an idea at all about investment, 401k or retirement. Whenever I put money into our checking account, all she thinks is to spend that money as quickly as possible by buying unnecessary clothes or planning unnecessary trips ( e.g, we recently spent 8k in one month for unnecesaary trips, its very frequent) 3. Never does she think about professional prosperity and making a career. She spends some days working for her friend's shops but I have no idea of where her earnings are going (most probably for useless stuffs) 4. Not clean at all. Our house smells dog shit. I can't even invite my friends. 5. She never invests into our family but nags too much if I do investment into stocks and bonds as the money is going out of checking & saving accounts. Or if I support my family financially sometimes. 6. She starts talking shit about my family as they sometimes help us with financial advise. Parents worked as SVPs in investment banks. 7. If I explain something, she never bothers understanding it. Closed mind. If I start the conversation about divorce, she cries and starts begging. But never she improves herself to be better. If I leave her now, she will be fucked up so badly and she can't survive even if I leave her 100k. She is totally dependent on me. How to divorce such woman, any suggestion? This relationship has been bothering me for long time and will cause me some mental illness. PLEASE ADVISE ME ! TC: 569k #dating #marriage #relationships #divorce
That spousal support is going to hurt, she’s coming for it all.
I got you.
I heard no spousal support before 10 years usually. But community property will be divided in half.
As someone who is in a similar situation and starting the process of divorce, there are a few things you should do. 1) couples therapy. Seriously even if you hate each other you still owe it to yourselves, you have spent 7y together 2) document your spending and her spending, if she is as dependent on you as you imply she will qualify for spousal suppehere in the USA. It isn't given as a lump sum but as a monthly stipend that you have to give her out of your post tax income 3) if you have assets (like a house) you need to accept that you will need to sell it 4) talk to a divorce attorney, seriously it's worth a consultation. Google has a benefit called metlaw and if you opt into it it has a netwoof divorce lawyers and the plan includes consultations, if not you will need to get your own. They are generally $600 for a consultation.
Sounds a good advise. Appreciate it.
Np, dm me if you want advice I'm happy to help
Blind is not the place to be asking questions with extremely serious life consequences. Speak to an individual therapist to clear your mind first and then opt for couples therapy if you decide to try and salvage the marriage.
Blind is in general a good place to ask for advice because the majority of members are people in similar socioeconomic circles and overall in the same career space. If your a 25-45yo male this is a good place to ask for anonymous info
I agree with Xiluvpd
tell her to lose weight
Why do I smell troll here?
Start with individual and couples therapy. If there’s no improvement, consider a mediated settlement rather than litigation, since mediation can be quicker, cheaper, and less stressful. You should be able to consult with a mediation attorney without charge.
Document everything. Lawyer up. Make love. Divorce.
Make love with protection you can verify. Don't want kids now. That'd be a terrible mistake.
Great point.
Leave and dm me 🥺
are you a woman ?
Yes
1. Grow a backbone 2. Search for a lawyer, a good one with your TC 3. Power through with the divorce
Got it. Stepping a first step is really challenging one. Once everything has started, there is no way coming back. Thank you.
It's very true that the first step is the hardest. I sat paralyzed in my marriage for a few years before I finally got the guts to do something about it
How to divorce her? With a lawyer. Don’t let people be a parasite to your life, financial well-being, and happiness.
Yes, we have learned a ton but in practice they were useless.