We had an argument this morning about a backpacking trip that I'm planning on taking with my brothers and uncles. She thinks my uncles aren't worth spending the time with. Also she said if I don't want to fight I can plan my day, get to bed on time, and get my priorities straight. Thing is, I make her meals, make 4 times more than she does, buy everything, clean around the house...wtf? She's been really nasty and negative lately....how often do you think about breaking up with your significant other?
How often? Like everyday!
Asking strangers on Blind could help! 🙄
Typically these are not the type of things that women get annoyed about... They are complicated creatures and normally what they complain about is not the source of the annoyance. You should sit her down and talk to her very calmly and with open mind and open heart. Ask her what is really going on in her mind and if it's a bunch of crap then you can consider exit strategy... otherwise try to work it out and understand her situation as well. Truth of the matter is majority of women get bored of ordinary life so quickly or they crave other men in their lives and instead of looking deep to fix things, they choose to cause further complications and find a way to blame.
Probably. Very difficult to say it all here. But we generally have a happy relationship. She is very emotional....sometimes though I want her to be more positive and she's just being realistic and it bothers me i.e. telling me her opinion that she doesn't care for my uncles and that my backpacking trip is going to suck vs: she could first say something like " wow that's great they invited you!" Am I being too sensitive
She says my priorities aren't straight because I don't go to bed at the same time every night, sometimes I play a video game, I left my wallet at home yesterday. Nasty as in her language. She says she's being honest with me but I see it as negativity and being unsupportive. She sees it as honesty. She's like "this trip sounds terrible, why would you want to spend your time with them." She grew up in a divorced family without much family around. I grew up with family reunions and everything like that. There are family differences and she doesn't understand what my family means to me.
If you don’t mind me asking.. are you Caucasian?
Yea
Lol why?
Do you make significantly more income than her? She might be below your league, maybe you need to give her a gentle reminder by going on a coffee date with a hotter, younger, nicer woman.
This is a low risk way to help your marriage. +1
Are you being serious or sarcastic? I'm kind of sad so it's hard to tell.
see a therapist, maybe a couple's therapist. there's no way people on blind can get the context of an entire relationship.
Yeah, good point
Love is communicated differently by people, depending on their personalities. My way of showing love was always about helping out, doing things. My wife is about having intimate time. For my wife, if I spend 30 minutes washing dishes everyday, she'd much rather spend 30 minutes talking about things (and her doing dishes). This communication gap sucks, but it is what it is. There's a book for it. As for your direct question about how often you think about breaking up. Just think you want to break up just because you plainly hate her, or, you're showing so much love (in your ways) but she's rejecting/denying/devaluing it. Either way, you gotta tell her what you're feeling.
Book is called The 5 Love Languages. I haven’t read it but did a lot of reading on the topic. I second this
Best advice I can give, read up on the 5 love languages and try to nail down the way she receives love. She may only get satisfied by a type of love you aren’t giving her, maybe quality time. You can throw all of the gifts and acts of service you want at her, but unless you give her the right love, she will always resent you.
Serious question...who on earth actually does that? If it doesn't come naturally to you, wouldn't you die a little bit inside every day, until the point comes when your own resentment outweighs anything the other side ever felt?
Only if your partner is onboard with showing you love in the way you want to receive it as well. Both people have to buy into it for it to work. I can honestly say it does work after going from an epically toxic relationship with a verbally abusive girlfriend that refused to work on it to now being engaged to a wonderful girl who keeps my love language in mind all the time.
Haha!
@Amazon now that you mention it 🤔
Why is breaking up your first option? Sit down and talk it out. Every marriage is beautiful until one person stops trying.