Imposter syndrome, physical pain and stoicism.
I am an L4 PE at FB. Started a year ago. I graduated with a master's from a business school, but didn't enjoy the job I got after graduation. I quit. Five years ago, a start-up in China hired me for pennies. I had almost no skills. I did a Fibonacci generator in Python, knew a few Linux commands and they said you're hired. Fast forward, now at fb I have been struggling with both work and imposter syndrome. I think I somehow got lucky. Every time I get stuck I think "fuck, how am I going to survive in this team of people who have masters and PhDs in CS!?" They are going to realize I am a fraud. Adding to that I hurt my leg 8 months ago and went through a brutal prehab, surgery and now I am in rehab. My mental health deteriorated, I lived in constant fear of getting piped. A month ago I came across a YouTube video on Stoicism. I started reading about it. The teachings of stoicism have really helped me. It helped me get through the physical pain. The depression that my pain medication causes is much more tolerable. The frustration of not being able to walk also doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I reassure myself that everything is temporary as the stoics say. They also say that we cannot control what others think about us, our environment and body are also not in our control and our mind and actions are the only thing we can control. And now I am able to focus better and get through the day's daunting work at fb. I also feel much happier, and realized that though I am not stellar, I am capable. I have to stay confident and try harder. I am sharing this to ask if anyone else here is interested in and or practices stoicism. If so please share your thoughts... and any advice. #depression #impostersyndrome #pain
Dude if you don't need that high tc. Exempting refreshers. You can get a much much easier job with only a 20% doc in salary. This is true.
Lots of professional success requires a bit of luck. The reality is that you probably did get a bit lucky to land the interviews and succeed in them, but know that top companies rarely hire someone who isn’t capable of doing the job. It’s okay if you aren’t the best on your team. You’re paired with some of the best employees that money can buy. Do your job, collab w your manager on expectations, and enjoy the ride. If it’s too stressful, consider joining a 💩 company and pull your hair out when you realize how incompetent your team is Although, if you don’t mind your colleagues being B and C players, then it could work out fine. You know yourself better than anyone! Best of luck out there
Yup, I have met some truly amazing engineers at work. I am going to stay, and calmly go through life at fb. Gain what I can. If I get pipped, I will shop around for a new job.
It doesn’t matter if you got lucky or not. If you made it, that’s all that matters.
Leave FB. Fb & Amazon will suck the soul out of you and then you will hate work.
I have a question about stoicism. Most of what you said resonates, but I would flip one thing- in my experience the mind is also practically impossible to control. Yes, thoughts are not facts (thankfully) and actions are your own. How does stoicism recommend mind control?
I am a bit too late, but here is what I've to say on the topic. It all boils down to observing our thoughts. i.e being self aware. Why do we have a thought? Is it useful? Is it rational? What about the actions that the thought leads to? Are they useful?
So you graduated with an MBA 5 years ago, zero programming skills - and you’re a programmer at Facebook today? Wtf? How did this happen?
I graduated 7 years ago, was a business analyst for 2. I had an amazing mentor, plus I was lonely as a foreigner in China. No FB, IG, Netflix or YouTube either. Spent my free time reading, coding and tweaking Linux distros.