Marriage question?
Me and my wife get along great overall. We don’t fight that often. We are happy. Question- She points out any mistakes I do and I accept it but if I do the same she gets all defensive and starts crying. It always ends up with me asking sorry for being a jerk even if she is wrong. What to do?
Talk to her about how you can approach her with innocuous criticism? If she can’t respond to that, talk to a therapist because communication is the cornerstone of a relationship.
My wife had a terrible time admitting she was wrong and got very defensive. The easiest way is to talk to her about it like this: “we are a team and are stronger when we both do X instead of Y”. The team focus will blunt some of her criticism of you and help you get through to her. PM me if you want to talk about it more.
This is some solid advice
I don’t think people realise how painful divorce is.
Welcome to married life buddy.
That’s every household story 😀😀
Not true
The answer to most relationship questions on Blind: show her this post! Communication is key. Tell her this is how you feel, then ask whether your assumptions and understanding are right. Let her talk a lot.
Go read this book, changed my life and my marriage: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert - John Gottman
Gottman’s book is very good. Same with a book caller “crucial conversations.” Difficult conversations are a fundamental life skill. You can definitely get better at them. Good luck!
STFU about it then. Stop trying to make her feel like shit. Jeez why is this a question? Are people this clueless these days?
Let me guess. Not married?
After you solve the conflict, talk to her and try to analyze together what she thinks caused it, what made her sad that she cried and how you could avoid it in future. Try to be soft, but logical, explain your point of view and bring some solid arguments. If she starts crying again, hug her tighter, but don't say sorry if you didn't do anything wrong. Crying during an argument is manipulative as fk. Even if one doesn't do it intentionally, they've done it before and it worked to win the conflict, so they subconsciously use same method. What you want is a fair resolution that satisfies both of you. I actually become very frustrated when someone starts to cry during a conflict. I pause untill all tears are gone, and continue only when I see we can talk constructively.
Go to a marriage counselor if you can’t manage it yourself
Why is this the default go-to answer for every relationship question ? They don't have a magic wand.
@google, it’s called not taking ownership.