Need some solution for my relationship
Lot of smart people here, so can someone help me out a bit here regarding my relationship woes. I am on F1 visa here from Asia and my girlfriend is in Europe and a citizen of an EU country. We are looking at ways to be together after she completes her studies in September. If I leave for Europe, I lose my f-1 and in turn my h-1 and green-card prospects here. She is not a fan of the US and is more about European laid back lifestyle. She is also non-tech. It would be difficult for a European in non-tech to find a job here especially since I can’t sponsor her for a visa. So we are in a pickle about how to proceed. Currently we are looking at the 2 options above despite their shortcomings along with moving to Canada where it’s easier for non-citizens to live and work. Does anyone have any advice, alternate solutions or faced a similar situation?
TC > tech culture vs. "European laid back lifestyle" debate location of higher earner should decide
Money ain’t everything
easy to say when you have a secure employment, but try surviving without money
Try internal transfer? Lot of companies have offices in London and Dublin.
Think about the long picture. Short term she can move to the US after graduating and “try” finding a job in CA if you are CA based. I don’t think it’s that difficult to find an average job be it tech or non-tech or even take a certificate course to get a feel of US education. You will get more clarity trying that for a year after Sep when she moves here and you guys spend a year together in a live-in relationship. Don’t take decisions so early on based on your relationship specially when you guys are in an international relationship.
I hear what you are saying. I do know you need a valid visa to enter this country if you are not a citizen. What I was trying to convey is what seems important is for the couple of spend quality time together. Since he is earning well here, it makes sense for them to find a way for her to move here and see how things go. A tourist visa , student visa, work visa, entrepreneurship visa, etc are options at hand.
@New you forgot the other options. 4. Cultural visa 5. Investment visa 6. Canadian perm into T1. 7. Work for international company and L1.
Break up. It won’t work. Your gf already has a male friend that she confides in. She is asking him what she should do and he is telling her to break up with you. It will put some doubts in her head. You will leave the US and move to her and things will be a little off. You will try harder and force things which will only push her away further. You will get resentful and say things like “I GAVE UP MY CAREER FOR YOU!” and she will say “I never asked you to! My friend was right, I should have broken up with you before you moved here!” Then your relationship will be over. You will move out and back to Asia and she will go running into the arms of her confidant. They will get married and you will spend years regretting your decision and toiling at shitty government jobs, and you will be thinking about the 300k+ TC that you gave up over “love”. You could make millions in cumulative TC in the US but now you are making equivalent 45,000 usd working on government web sites for the rest of your career. At least you will have a government pension.
What?
I do appreciate you writing this and this is kind of what I fear (except the government job part). I think breakup is not the way to go but also giving up career opportunities is not a good idea. I think the correct move is to have her come here and if she chooses not to then oh well. If things don’t work out for her here she can always catch the next flight back to her Europe and having US cutthroat experience will only help her land a good job there
Why do you think it’s easier for non-citizens in Canada?
Express Entry
Skilled workers with several years of experience. She is graduating.
You can try to sustain long-term until you get H1, then get married and she can come to you here. With local salaries you can support both of you, and she can have laid back life style and get some non-tech job or study more.
Agreed with @JexD77, if you’ve got high TC you can easily support her here, while she goes to school or looks for a job. I don’t think it’s accurate that she can’t find a job here. If she already has work experience, or even if she doesn’t, the Bay Area is an amazing job market.
Even for Tech, Berlin is becoming a hotspot... Good opportunities out there... Salaries maybe less as compared to US... But people say that they are happier in EU... However, at the end of the day, u only have to decide for yourself... Rest are opinion... What's more important for you?
Am Asian, briefly worked in Europe, also used to date a girl who grew up in Europe. Our situations are very different though, but pm if you want some perspective on working in Europe
Break up? Sounds like you really like living here.
I like here but I am not deeply attached. I think I am just a little scared to give my prospects here and move somewhere else only to find 1) I don’t like it there or 2) things dont work out between my gf and I and there is no way to come back here unless I pursue another degree here