I had a conversation with a Indian friend and it really surprised me to find out that he wouldn’t want his prospective partner to have had any physical relationship(s) in the past. I would like to hear from the Indian men here on Blind - How important is it for your SO to have not lost their virginity before getting married and why? Please help me understand. To maintain the tradition :) TC 140k UPDATES - First, thanks for taking the poll! Some clarifications/comments I’d like to add based on the comments some people shared: 1. My friend is a nice guy. His choice doesn’t make him a bad person. This post was just an attempt to figure out what other people believe and possibly find out why 2. Having a physical relationship doesn’t really mean that one is promiscuous or can’t be loyal. Meaningful relationships where people are committed to each other exist. 3. Saving yourself for your partner made sense when people got married right out of school/college. Isn’t expecting the partner to be a virgin at 30 years a little too much?
Your friend is a little traditional, that's all. He believes that his wife should experience other men after she gets married.
You win Blind for today!
Excuse me, I'm living on coffee today. What is the dude saying?
That idiot objectified women even more ! I just don't get it how something that happened in someone's relationship past is of their concern. Also why is not the question vice-versa in terms of gender ? It's not as if men are frigging saints !
^What do you have against heroin addicts?
Uh they’re heroin addicts?
140k at MS? Non eng? /Asking the important questions
not a virgin but highly prefer if my so is not a virgin
This. Most of my friends don't want a virgin woman now, they prefer someone who is more experienced, fun, and open to trying new things in bed.
Not a virgin and not Indian, but same. It's a lot of work to teach a virgin how to sex. I mean, I won't turn her down, but I'd rather someone that just knows what she's doing already.
the concept ranges from being traditional to being creepy. i know an indian dude who will only mess around with virgin girls (not marriage, just casual relationships, etc) simply because he likes the idea of being their first and feels that virgins are more easily manipulated due to lack of experience. Essentially gives him a degree of emotional control over his partners since him popping their cherries makes him more imortant to them than they are to him. I don't talk to him anymore. dude grosses me out. I can understand being extremely traditional from the viewpoint of dating for marriage for cultural/religious reasons but a some people only date virgins for all the wrong reasons.
The dude you described is an asshole. Gross.
yeah, he's whack and i think the mentality is disgusting and toxic. personally i was surprised that he thought that way when he told be because most indian dudes raised stateside that I know are pretty open minded about thei partner's sexual experience. definitely not trying to generalize indian people.
My friend told me she believes one is less likely to be loyal to one's partner after marriage if they have had a lot of relationships/sex in the past.
@atrixia alternative perspective is someone with some history knows what they want in a committed partner and is more likely to be loyal.
Indians men are generally hypocritical in a number of ways and one of them is this. In the poll, you can replace virginity with smoking, consuming alcohol, masturbating, porn, etc. Don't be surprised that educated techies have these opinions.
Alcohol smoking addiction/habit is worse for women since there are serious repercussions if they cannot give it up during pregnancy. Only women have had the privilege traditionally to know for sure who's baby are they carrying. So you know there are reasons for everything.
Heights of Idiocracy. You don't want the girl to not occasionally have a drink or a smoke just so that she can carry your baby EVEN before she is pregnant. I have no words!
Sure, I m so liberal I don't mind risking any type STDs, emotional baggage, possible promiscuous nature the SO, parent of my next generation might have..... Because you know I m liberal, so science and common sense shouldn't influence my liberal beliefs.
Are you okay buddy?
Oh this girl friend of mine is hot but wait the probability of contracting STD increases. Mom, send me the virgin.
I’m not Indian, but Indian stuff is always so interesting. Following 🤨
Same!
Haha, it's a circus show
I’m not Indian but can tell you that this is western culture that boys and girls freely have relationship before marriage. Even Jews don’t have relationship before marriage (well, the practicing ones!) There are pros and cons of either culture, but don’t be surprised if you hear this :)
Didn't know there were pros and cons of women's rights