Anyone been in this situation? If so, how'd you deal with it? She was my dream girl and dumped me 4 years ago. I still haven't met anyone I like as much. Before you say, "there are many fish in the sea blah blah blah" let me tell you something: she's a brilliant software engineer, and one of the hottest women I've ever met. At one point last year, I thought I'd maybe met someone to match my favorite ex. But after dating her for a few months, I realized I didn't love her. EDIT: and before you say, "just go have sex with someone new," I should probably note that I've tried that with 11 more women by now and it's getting old.
Moving on is a choice you have to make. Go see a therapist if you can’t escape your thought patterns revolving around your ex.
I saw a therapist for awhile after the breakup, and it helped a lot. Although I inadvertently think about her whenever I'm not desperately busy, I still live a fulfilling life.
There’s no easy answer.. whatever happens or happened life has to move on and you have to move on.. I think you are still being over possessive about her.. nothing going to change in your life still thinking about her.. and if you want to find someone similar to her, you will end up finding no one..because everyone has their own uniqueness.. I wish you move on and find someone better for you to lead a happy life..
Yeah, the fact that I'll never find another girl like her is honestly the most depressing part. It wouldn't be nearly as bad if I felt that I could easily find another girl I like as much. She could challenge my ideas about anything and is one of the hottest women I've ever met. I've never found that combination in anyone else, let alone someone who wants to date me.
I was in the similar situation as you, if not worse. Lasted for a long time but never over the “friendship” mode. One day I just decided to call it since it was too destructive to myself. It was not easy, and I fell off the wagon multiple times. But I can assure you it IS POSSIBLE. The first thing you need to do is to put a little distance and put the person out of your mind. Do not try to hate her. It doesn’t work. The opposite of love is indifferent. Trust me, will yourself into forgetting/ignoring her. One month you will see a difference. Then it’ll only get better.
I tried this. Was successfully 100% indifferent for about 2 months when dating the new girl I thought I liked as much. Ultimately that feeling dissipated when I realized I didn't love her. I've had stretches where I've been quite happy single, but even then I'd miss the ex sometimes.
I don’t think In those stretches, you miss your ex per-se. More like you miss having someone there for you. I felt the same thing. I’d miss the person dearly. But remember your life before her. It was fine, yes? So it’s proof that it’s possible to live fine without her. Really, there’s not much anyone can tell you to do if you don’t want to. You have to tell yourself that you want to get over her. I was there so I can say with confidence that right now, deep down, you don’t want to forget her. That’s the problem.
Been 5 years and married now to a wonderful girl. Still have anxiety everyday. She’s on my mind 24x7 not because I love her but because I loved her and she didn’t deserve it.
Doesn't sound like you're over your ex. Do you actually like your wife better and is she your dream girl, or are you only with her because you feel loved and less lonely?
I love my wife. I’m over her. I’m just angry for all I lost due to my ex. I used to be full of life and I’ve been near suicidal after she cheated and dumped me. Never felt the same ever again. Always feel like I’m carrying that anger around because I never got the closure and I saw depression due to this. She did not deserve my love is all.
Often we forget the negative parts about a person.. it’s human wishful thinking. You might have morphed her into something she never was over time. Give another honest girl a chance
This ^ Also I know this is cliche .But always love yourself first .If someone cannot return the love you have for them they are probably not worth it . You deserve so much better 🥰
Let’s try something new then. Passion and romantic love are highly overrated. Perhaps it is time to compartmentalism , break down what you’re looking for into smaller units and then approach the problem ? ( Is that too nerdy? )
I found the smaller units in the other ex I mentioned. Didn't work out because I didn't love her. The sex was not on par
Don’t compare all the new girls to your ex. You probably gloss over all of your exes problems and just focus on her being a swe and hot. Being hot is nice but looks mean nothing when the person sucks.
I dated a hot nice girl. That just doesn't do it for me unless she's also brilliant. I just get depressed thinking about the level of conversations I had with my ex, who could literally challenge my ideas about anything
Don’t worry. She might be fat now. And with 3 kids.
Actually, no. I stalk her once in awhile and she's still insanely hot, with no kids
Seems like you are placing her on a pedestal. Focus on how she made you feel ? Probably insecure .And also why you broke up in the first place ?
Given how you speak about her you will probably never really be over her. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. That being said, you need to distance yourself from her... Time will do the rest. You'll only make it worse if you dwell on her.
I did that by moving from SF to NYC. So far it hasn't helped. It's easier to get dates here but I still haven't found anyone who comes close.
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I wish my ex was like u! True love can last a lifetime if u chooose to. But ur ex clearly didn’t want it. So stop crying those tears and move on. U will find someone else who is capable of staying with u forever.
*you
Your*