Taking care of parents in India while in the US

Sep 29, 2019 29 Comments

Hi! I was wondering how I can take care of parents as they get older. Some options are :
1) move back to India,
2) get them here once I clear the GC hurdles (god knows when) etc though I'm concerned that health care costs might be crazy
3) move to a country like Singapore so I'm not too far and work is good too
4) move to Canada which is a more convenient version of (2) ie easier to get citizenship and cheap health care

What do folks here think?

Tc: 300k

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TOP 29 Comments
  • New
    ⫷⫸

    New

    BIO
    Renaissance Technologies
    ⫷⫸more
    None of the above. Keep them in India and stay in the US. Hire caretakers in India to look after them fulltime. Make trips to visit them to maintain a relationship.
    Sep 29, 2019 5
    • Lyft lemony
      OP
      The time I spend with them here will be similar to the time I spend with them in India if I moved there. Work and family commitments are a constant. At least together they will be able to help raise my kids in future and they'd be part of the family. In India, sure, if they move to wherever I work (example Bangalore/Hyderabad), they'd have to move there and build a friend network
      Sep 29, 2019
    • Google UWOM24
      OP, if they are in India and you are in the US, you may afford best caregiver in India. Other options may not provide good care. Fyi.
      Sep 30, 2019
  • Oracle
    not_larry

    Oracle

    PRE
    Amazon
    not_larrymore
    This is one of those questions with no good answer. Let us know if you find one.
    Sep 29, 2019 0
  • Cisco NnMk28
    Difficult choice if you both love your parents and career.

    Stay strong bruh / sista. I feel you and you r not alone 🍀🙌
    Sep 29, 2019 0
  • Apple
    awaited

    Apple

    PRE
    AMD
    BIO
    Spittoon of Upper Mgmt
    awaitedmore
    One of my friends moved back to India (Bengaluru) so that he could live with his parents. It didn’t turn out to be a good experience for anyone. His parents had lived in Delhi all their lives and it was very difficult for them to cope up in a new environment far away from their relatives and friends. It is very tough when your ecosystem gets taken away from you in your 60s esp when you have lived in that ecosystem all your life. The guy also could not fit himself in the work culture of India. After a few years, he decided to move back to US and moved his parents back to Delhi. Now they keep visiting him here. When it gets hot in Delhi they come and stay with him
    In Bay Area and when the festive season starts in India they go back to enjoy with their friends and extended family. That arrangement is working well for everyone now. To avoid the travel burden in old age, he makes sure that his parents fly comfortably in business class every year.
    Sep 30, 2019 0
    • Lyft lemony
      OP
      Thanks for sharing!
      Sep 29, 2019
  • eBay ebays
    Go back to India and stay with parents if you can
    Sep 29, 2019 0
  • Booking.com
    Баба Яга

    Booking.com

    BIO
    🤬🤪🥴🥺🤫😜🤦‍♂️
    Баба Ягаmore
    You make it sounds like you are the decision maker for your parents. Have you ever asked them what they want?
    Sep 29, 2019 2
    • Lyft lemony
      OP
      I'm not. They'd prefer to stay in India but aren't opposed to moving abroad if it works out.
      Sep 29, 2019
    • Booking.com
      Баба Яга

      Booking.com

      BIO
      🤬🤪🥴🥺🤫😜🤦‍♂️
      Баба Ягаmore
      Maybe you should do what they want and try find a solution that can make them happiest.
      Sep 29, 2019
  • Zynga parott
    Option 3 is the best choice IMO.You can be super close and have your own life and not take too much of a career hit
    Option 4: I’m not sure how moving to Canada will help you as Canada is really cold and isolated.Say you have to go urgently on a days notice you can do that from Singapore but not Canada
    Sep 29, 2019 2
    • Microsoft UMbR31
      Vancouver feels exactly like Seattle without the jobs btw. If you're okay with the declining economy and (almost) lack of tech jobs and general loneliness, it's a pretty viable option.
      Sep 29, 2019
    • Zynga parott
      That is the precise reason Option 3 is better.Singapore is more vibrant in every sense (economy,life,travel options etc)
      Sep 29, 2019
  • Zillow Group gentle
    What do they like? Do they like to move to US or Canada?
    Sep 29, 2019 5
    • Nokia / Eng ayfavh
      Are you originally from Punjab? Because Canada has lot of Punjabis but over all not many indians compared to US. If you are from Punjab,they will definitely find good community circle in Canada.
      Oct 3, 2019
    • Lyft lemony
      OP
      Yes I'm Punjabi
      Oct 4, 2019
  • Google wFatDuck2
    How about splitting time between India and USA after GC ? Arrange for good care for the part of the year you are in the USA ?
    Sep 30, 2019 1
    • Google wFatDuck2
      Well if that's a concern then definitely Canada or Singapore are better choices
      Sep 30, 2019

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