How to keep a good partner?
Was lucky enough to fall into a relationship with a great guy and am getting married soon. We've dated 8 months and everything has been fairly smooth so far, I feel incredibly grateful. Its so good that I am very scared it won't last and often worry about whether I would do something stupid to damage the relationship (is there a relationship equivalent of imposter syndrome?), havent told that to him though. How do I best ensure I am a wife he wants to keep? I am 26, average looking, working on getting fitter with better grooming. He loves me for my intellect and how caring I am. He's an introverted geek/nerd, possibly on the autism spectrum and fits what I recently learnt about 'autistic savant' (I haven't seen rainman yet). I wish keeping him happy came naturally to me - i am caring but I do have a problem of being too self-absorbed in my work/reading to the exclusion of everything else. So far he likes it because he's getting way more space than he expected in the relationship, but I don't know if it will irk him later that I worry about making money and doing better work more than i worry about him and what he needs. Thanks for reading and for your time.
Consider yourself lucky and stop worrying.
Sweet.
Damn this feels so rare in today's world that it almost appears fake. Full points if true feeling.
Does he yell “rrrrrrREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” when he has an orgasm?
I don't get it. What's the context? And no, he doesn't.
ITT: autism dating autism. You are a great fit for each other.
As a coder I found that as long as I sincerely care about my code, everything else can be fixed. My code blew in production a few times, but it was always possible to fix things as long as I continued to care. Man this weed is good.
I get what you are saying iHigh, but the thing with code is that most of the time you are dealing with a deterministic sequence of events that can be replayed and redone correctly (unless you are dealing with a heisenbug or doing fancy machine learning stuff which I don't do). I wish that was the case with humans. Can't tell him, don't sulk with me, let's just replay last night and I'll do whatever you wanted the way you wanted.
Lol
How long have you been married bag? I am a bit skeptical of your advice because "marriage is a dance" is what I had heard from a guy before either of us were old enough to date. It seems like cheesy teenager speak :(
Guys are fairly simple. Have sex regularly and talk to him about things that interest him sometimes. Do stuff together that is fun. Have your own interests that you do on your own sometimes and share what you care about with him. Repeat with at least a few significant interactions every week and he should be happy for a very long time. Source: I'm a guy. Disclaimer: Everyone is different so maybe this won't work with every guy (but I still suspect it should work for at least half of the hetero make population)
Thanks, that sounds pretty doable.
This is both an over simplification and spot on at the same time. As a male this post is in line with me; just understand it’s a high level summarization. The autism is wrench I don’t know. However, read the book Five Love languages and figure out what is his and what is yours. Learn to your express love in his and he needs to learn to express in yours. The key is to not lose the emotional bond and keep strengthening it. Lastly do NOT rush into marriage. You don’t sound confident that you can attract another “match” for yourself. That’s untrue. You can. So only go into this if you honestly love each other...
Marriage works best when both parties think they got the better end of the deal. It's awful being married to someone who thinks they could do much better than you.
Good advice
You don’t need to do anything. Just live your life, do your own thing, do whatever interests you. If he really loves you - he loves you for who you are, if not, then you don’t need to be with him. Simple :) be there for him when he needs you, listen to him as long as he is doing the same for you. That’s it: if you love each other and communicate and be honest with each other, there is nothing more you need to do.
He is lucky to have you. You are lucky to have each other.