GF often makes emotional decisions, I optimize on logical ones

Nvidia btfd
Jul 9 28 Comments

How do we peacefully compromise?

TC 320

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TOP 28 Comments
  • Oath Atinlay2
    Not by asking strangers on Blind!
    Jul 9 0
  • Let her have her way in the small decisions. She’ll let you have yours in the big ones.
    Jul 9 3
    • Verisk Analytics pinkfloyd🎸
      This totally works. I can testify as a girl 🤣
      Jul 9
    • Amazon echo $?
      This works to a point. Some decisions are large enough to be made jointly (relocation, very large purchases, etc) but otherwise correct. My wife of 16 years and I do something similar to this and it works well for us.
      Jul 10
    • ^ Oh right. You probably shouldn’t relocate or buy a car or something without getting wifey on board first ;)
      Jul 10
  • Nutanix 爱 me
    Even leetcode experts have not found any solution for this question.
    Jul 9 0
  • Amazon Asf1H7
    The trick is not to get upset over the emotions talking.
    Jul 9 5
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      How do you resolve problems when you can't agree on the foundation of the debate?
      Jul 9
    • Amazon Asf1H7
      Why do you need to agree or debate to resolve problems?
      Jul 9
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      What's your not-fighting process?
      Jul 9
    • Amazon Asf1H7
      FWIW, I struggle with this... but I try to be more outcome independent and assertive. Less arguing and more leading.
      Jul 9
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      But you can't both disagree about eg. waking up on Monday at 8am and it just work out 😭😭

      Looking for more concrete conflict resolution when both parties come at it at different perspectives, one more emotional and the other striving for logical solutions
      Jul 9
  • Google BbCB40
    Therapist
    Jul 9 5
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      Are there gender fluid therapists?
      Jul 9
    • Intel D’s🥜
      ^Most therapists see people about gender & sex issues - or else they would be losing a decent clientele base.

      From the question, I’m kind of thinking you want 2 different therapists
      1) Your internal thoughts
      2) Relationship guidance

      It would be most beneficial to separate those 2 topics either between sessions or entirely different professionals.
      Jul 9
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      No I meant therapists who are gender fluid
      Jul 9
    • Facebook
      Bdudhrysb

      Facebook

      PRE
      Microsoft
      Bdudhrysbmore
      Why does that matter?
      Jul 9
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      Just bicurious
      Jul 9
  • Microsoft aran
    Maybe actually communicate with each other
    Jul 9 1
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      God you're smart
      Jul 9
  • Google BbCB40
    Have clarity on your non negotiables and everything else is discussion and compromise
    Jul 9 0
  • Google / Eng ✌🏻👍
    Give some examples of conflicts. Would be easier to understand and suggest
    Jul 9 0
  • Google / Eng batmobile
    Talk to each other? My last relationship was also similar where I always try to make logical decisions while my gf often made emotional decisions due to temper. We always talked these things through and she always loved that I could explain my point of view logically while understanding and respecting why she made a decision. In the end, we tended to go with my decisions but she was happy doing so almost always because she was convinced or she had calmed down by the end of the discussion.
    Jul 9 3
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      Yes... talking ... anything else? 😭
      Jul 9
    • TripAdvisor hodlbtc
      why did that relationship end?
      Sounds like she has patience and a good listener, guys would kill for that
      Jul 10
    • Google / Eng batmobile
      Became long distance which eventually killed it :(
      Jul 10
  • Snapchat Playette
    besides telling her your pov, maybe try to listen and come to a win win solution? If you do insist on your solution being better, you should at least make her feel listened and tell her that you are making this decision for the greater team, not just for yourself
    Jul 9 1
    • Nvidia btfd
      OP
      Check on not insisting on my solution being best... but hard to compromise when we don't agree on the facts
      Jul 9