Would you keep dating this girl 3 months in?

New / Other
HDCT

New Other

PRE
Google
HDCTmore
May 30 155 Comments

Asian girl age 25 with a math background from a top public university. Was an exec for a hedge fund at age 23 and started a company at age 24. Did well at first and then things got rough. She’s not paid herself the last two years, living off of savings from investing and past salary. High risk but well respected in her field and fun personality.

Intense at work and loving and compassionate within relationships. She likes her partner to always pay for dates (just her style) and gives in other ways like affection, gifts, loyalty.

She looks great on paper but you find out she has $10K in credit card debt and is currently barely getting by. But she is cool, persistent, strong character, confident, has a high EQ/IQ, and people love and respect her. She loves you like no one else has before. She has huge potential.

Would you dump her because of her current financial situation? Would you love her if she failed at everything if she kept trying or would you look for a girl with a better financial situation?

Would you consider asking her to live with you without asking for rent money?

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TOP 155 Comments
  • Micro Focus / Eng chmod777
    Well, she definitely shouldn’t be dating a guy like you
    May 30 12
    • Uber tnnb
      Oof what a waste. Set her free op, she's gonna be sad for a while but then find someone that doesn't make a post on Blind asking whether she's worth it.

      Actually, try telling her about this post.
      May 30
    • New / Consultant
      LHBR

      New Consultant

      BIO
      Always looking how to do Business better.
      LHBRmore
      Oh my goodness!!! This is what I am talking about in my question on Romance women’s TC to men’s TC when dating. I want to throw up 🤢. I would cry for months if I found out that the guy I thought was amazing and giving my everything to was considering dumping me because I’m not successful enough in his eyes. Wow! I hate people. I’m going to be alone forever!!
      May 30
    • Uber tnnb
      It's not that bad @LHBR. look through these replies and you'll see nobody agreeing with this idiot op. Most of us are fine.
      May 30
    • Kaiser Permanente pagz54
      Paying for dinner is cheaper than the alternative 😉.
      May 30
    • Microsoft katakar
      Def. a keeper. But she won't stay after she has made it. You don't seem like one☹️
      Jun 2
  • Postmates setamtsoP
    Seems like a keeper. Financial situation might be temporary, personality traits matter more.
    May 30 1
    • Twitch jellybeano
      Financial situation is a reflection of her judgement.

      Money and kids: always see eye to eye with your partner on these.
      May 30
  • New / Legal jGGW76
    It’s shitty to even consider not dating someone because they are going through a rough time financially.
    May 30 4
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      Is it too much if I ask her to move in with me and I will support her, knowing very well she can and has supported herself?
      May 30
    • New / Legal jGGW76
      I’m confused. Your original post asks if you should even date her. Now you’re considering asking her to move in? Are you currently dating her? Living with someone is a huge deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly or entered into with someone you barely know.
      May 30
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      I’m just wondering what other people would do. I go back and forth from “maybe timing is poor” to “I want to take care of you and get rid of your struggles.” Have been dating for 3 months and she is the perfect girl. I’m also a engineer and a founder but don’t get paid an extreme amount.
      May 30
    • Amazon / Eng ewjX55
      Im not sure what your deal is. You just trashed her for having financial difficulties while shes doing a startup. Like did u really think creating a company was all rainbows?
      Honestly, i dont think ypure ready to move in at all. Youre saying u wanna just get rid of her issues like its gonna be all easy. But moving in with someone is not easy, and you dont do it to "fix" them.
      Also 10k is nothing. Just wait till you have kids and a house. Shit will really hit the fan
      May 30
  • Booking.com m87hj0v
    "Asian girl [...]" Yes.
    May 30 1
  • Booking.com martinisux
    LOL there is existence for such post.
    first of all, I'm telling myself why on earth do I bother commenting and giving advice.

    so here we go - looks like the girl is a pampered spoilt child who has not seen struggles of life. good things never last, looks and materials too. she should change for the fact that she expect man to pay for dates. I'm a woman, I dont ask man to pay, or go on Dutch. in life we should not be calculative but we should nog be stupid too. YOU on the other hand dont deserve to love or to be loved (I hope you change) if you are even considering not to be with her for debts and when times got rough, and seems like you are too superficial about status.
    May 30 8
    • Booking.com martinisux
      you didnt mention the good side of her. she gives and you take. now when she is not in her good times, you are reconsidering...... goodnesss
      May 30
    • Tutanota / Eng
      🆗🆒🆒

      Tutanota Eng

      BIO
      Former Child
      🆗🆒🆒more
      It didn’t seem like a give and take relationship from your original post.
      May 30
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      @martinisux because we are young but when I first met her I knew she was the girl I wanted to marry and I still feel that way. But it is stressful because we are both trying to run companies.
      May 30
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      @tutanota I travel a lot but surprise her with gifts occasionally and do take her out to dinner when we have time.
      May 30
    • Booking.com martinisux
      come on good things doesnt last. tough times doesnt last too :)
      May 30
  • Amazon FTWLeeter
    I paid off all of my wife's debts when we married - that's how it's supposed to be
    May 30 3
    • New / Consultant
      LHBR

      New Consultant

      BIO
      Always looking how to do Business better.
      LHBRmore
      Honor. A man of honor... Love eternal.
      May 30
    • Microsoft Blah.
      I did the same, but only because I knew it was student loans and not due to her being irresponsible with her money.
      May 30
    • Amazon FTWLeeter
      Yep, same here
      May 30
  • Pure Storage YhGy64
    I say this completely seriously, not trying to be insulting. But you should start seeing a therapist and get a better understanding of yourself and how you want to relate to other people.
    May 30 2
    • Twitter Oomnj
      Always good to have relationship therapists anyway. Modern relationships are an uncharted territory and we don’t have a lot of history and traditional experiences to draw wisdom from.
      May 30
    • Nvidia wuwuw
      💯💯💯 I can't upvote this enough. You need a therapist to unravel this shit out.

      Therapy is the #1 reason how I've repaired/strengthened/created such strong relationships in my life.
      May 30
  • Intel LvOT55
    10k is PENNIES! she could pay that off with a sign on bonus if she decided to get a job. Although, if she's been living on savings and investments, why does she have credit card debt? What's her lifestyle like? Given her situation she really shouldn't have debt like that barring any like medical expenses or something drastic
    May 30 2
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      Well, the company is running out of money and things needed to get paid so, along with her cofounders, she floated it. She was depressed for a little bit before me. Obviously she’s working on pivoting and either raising more or starting another company. She lives extremely lean and never asks for expensive things from me even though she likes her partners to pay for the dates. She told me she didn’t care if it costs nothing but that it was pure quality time.
      May 30
    • Microsoft idknbd
      lol at Intel thinking most industries offer sign on bonuses
      May 30
  • Facebook burnt_out
    She’s only with you for the financial support because she sounds out of your league if you’re asking questions like this.
    May 30 9
    • Capital One
      thickmama1

      Capital One

      BIO
      Struggling to pass interviews
      thickmama1more
      @Blah. Probably a boring, ugly guy without a personality who instead upholds a pedigree ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
      Jun 1
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      Pedigree speaks to the ladies. And I’m a Founder. Haven’t made it big yet but we have about 100 people. She almost broke up with me this weekend but I asked her be patient with me because I’m just learning how to be a good boyfriend.
      Jun 3
    • Capital One
      thickmama1

      Capital One

      BIO
      Woman struggling to pass interviews
      thickmama1more
      That’s not pedigree. Pedigree is that AI sDirector at Amazon with a German accent and 2 degrees from MIT who’s bones I want to jump or that IB MD who makes $3M in (quarterly?) bonuses that my friend is seeing. That’s what girls want, founder.
      Jun 3
    • Microsoft NYC..
      Keep talking about pedigree and being a founder and I’m going to agree with everyone else that says she should dump your ass.

      You’re clearly still to cocky, young, and dumb to have figured out what’s important in life. A hint, pedigree and being a founder ain’t it.
      Jun 3
    • Microsoft NYC..
      Oh, and none of that is “pedigree” either. Just plain old greedy gold digger right there.
      Jun 3
  • Amazon / Sales ChivalryAF
    🤣 OP over here acting like he’s a trust fund kid dating a low class human.

    Get outta here with your attitude. This girl deserves better than your entitled ass.
    May 30 0
  • Rally Health FuPayMe$$$
    If that isn’t a keeper then I don’t know what is.
    May 30 0
  • Booking.com martinisux
    then live within means.. you guys clearly are not the real self made people. go watch born in Gaza, and you will feel so thankful you are even here...
    May 30 9
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      What why? I love her but I also want to be successful and make a lot of money. I do fear if I break up with her that I’ll never get her back because that’s what I’d try to do. But also I’d be leaving in this stressful time for her.
      May 30
    • Cisco -0.01
      @OP, you need to talk to your mom. You are too young for relationships.
      May 31
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      My mom likes her a lot and would probably agree I should marry her
      May 31
    • Cisco -0.01
      That’s the correct answer. Good luck bro!
      May 31
    • Target onlyshallow
      Jesus christ man. You're going to break up with a great girl cause she can't go on luxurious trips with you right this second?? This whole post is unbelievable. We need a word for this beyond fuckboy, you're a new breed.
      May 31
  • Tesla dizzypop
    I know of a cute Asian girl that sells her used underwear on internet - just an idea for when things get rough
    May 30 4
    • Twitch hahha
      Are you a customer?
      May 30
    • New / Eng
      lcgoogle

      New Eng

      PRE
      Accenture
      BIO
      4yoe; 65k
      lcgooglemore
      Sounds like a keeper
      May 30
    • Booking.com martinisux
      LOL
      May 30
    • Tesla dizzypop
      Hey at least it’s honest work, unlike pretending to be a “founder” and asking for dinner donations
      May 30
  • New / Mgmt
    D 😆

    New Mgmt

    PRE
    Citadel, Two Sigma
    D 😆more
    do her a favor and let her go
    she deserves someone better
    May 30 1
    • New / Eng
      lcgoogle

      New Eng

      PRE
      Accenture
      BIO
      4yoe; 65k
      lcgooglemore
      Lol. Thought the same
      May 30
  • Twitter chutya
    Keepher
    May 30 0
  • Twitter Oomnj
    How tall is she though?
    May 30 7
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

      PRE
      Google
      HDCTmore
      OP
      How tall does a girl need to be for you?
      May 30
    • Twitter Oomnj
      Ideally 6’, but I’ll take 5’10 and over. Obviously that’s without heels
      May 30
    • Facebook tTFN31
      lol are you like 6’5 or something?
      May 30
    • Google 5’7”
      Same want tall kids
      May 30
    • Twitter Oomnj
      “Great big monsters. They will conquer the world”
      May 30
  • Cisco xxxZyu
    I hope she is on Blind too and reading this ..what’s wrong with everyone nowadays? I thought love is purely based on emotions ,why is the financial aspect being even talked?
    May 30 2
    • Booking.com martinisux
      agree with you.
      May 30
    • Facebook / Eng yMvB87
      Love is but marriage isn't
      May 30
  • New / Sales
    hoe

    New Sales

    PRE
    Yelp
    BIO
    Imagine getting fired for leaking info on here when you used your company email to sign up......
    hoemore
    Wow. Can’t believe I’m reading this. If her company takes off, she raises a round of capital, or she gets a job, her financial status can change within a matter of months. You’re focused on the wrong things, if you can’t afford to take her on dates, do things that don’t cost money, if it’s that big of a problem, break up with her.
    May 30 0
  • She shouldn’t be with someone like you. Obviously the bottom line is what matters the most for you. She sounds like a good girl
    May 30 0
  • Twitch hahha
    I think you should break up and give her my phone number. I’m not a startup founder. I’ve my emotional and financial shit together unlike you. DM me.
    May 30 0