Last year, we were in the midst of finalizing my engagement and marriage dates and the guy and his family started making demands and then things get worst there after. I had received an interest from him on matrimony/dating site, everything was going fine and throughout 6 months he seemed very supportive of my career and was ready to move if I get a better job anywhere in US. We committed to each other for marriage. I was interviewing with 2 of the FAANG companies back then and both located in west coast. I got rejected from one of them and I moved to next round with the 2nd company. After hearing about me clearing the interview he now denied moving away from the city. We argued he got angry, things calmed down for few days and then he started it again. This time it even got verbally abusive. Eventually few days later I gave up the idea of working for big tech companies and moving to west coast (he resides in east coast) and compromised to keep moving in the relationship, but that wasn't enough. More demands came after that - getting married soon, kids immediately, might will have to give up career in future if needed, will have to follow what he and his family decides for me and there was more. He created a huge drama as I kept denying to the demands and eventually I called things off. Moving on was hard initially, but is getting little better now. In the middle of all this stress I couldn't clear the 2nd interview. Company said they will interview me again sometime this year. Presently I go to work and complete the tasks assigned, but am not able to stop thinking about whatever happened and hence not able to concentrate on interview prep, have not been working out or eating healthy as well. How did you cope up with your break up? Please advise so I can concentrate on getting back to algorithms and leetcode.
How to move on in life with a broken heart.. google it.. it will eventually help you. Take heartbreak as fever that when it’s there you feel sad and hopeless and feel you are missing out on things and eventually it goes away. Cry if you may and grieve as well. But be strong and move on.
Thanks! I have been googling for past few months and watching videos daily related to heartbreak and it has been helping me. But healing completely and concentrating back on necessary things in life is taking forever. I had already given 7 months of my time in the relationship and it has been almost another 7 months but am not completely out of it. When I am around people at work or with friends, I don't remember anything, but once I am back at home in the evening, I get back to sad zone.
Why do you keep thinking about it? It’s not like you were in love for years. It was good riddance considering he was not supportive. I have friends who are married couples but who live and work in separate cities because of their jobs. There are phases in life when that happens. One person is always looking to move for the other in such cases. You could move or he could depending on who gets the opportunity and where you both want to be in future but both have to be supportive of each other throughout. You will find someone better. Just concentrate on your job and interviews
Thanks for your reply! :) I am just deeply hurt that I invested all the time and energy in the relationship and the person was lying to me for 6-7 months. He was all supportive initially and then once I committed he wanted things as per his and his family's wish. How can someone lie so much. Also the abuses at the end.
You don’t want to be with a guy who prevents you from FAANG. Just leetcode and move on with it.
Thanks! Will start leetcode soon.
Try keeping yourself busy with something. Travel helps too sometimes.
Thanks! I try to keep myself busy, but am just not able to concentrate on most imp things. Presently have been spending my evenings watching some comedy shows to change my mind. I visited few places to change my mind and that helped a bit. I actually had started interviewing without doing any prep and got a few onsite interviews for mis-level companies, so traveled for that as well.
Why were you marrying like this? Sounds like an unromantic and impersonal process. That must really suck.
He was showing his romantic side for first 6 months and then he seemed like a complete different person after I said yes for marriage. Later he wanted things as per his and his family's way. I never realized person can lie or change so soon. Thanks for your reply!
She's probably an Indian without a bf. That's how arranged marriages work. It sucks. I know. I'm in the same process. Considering the limited options I see on matrimonial sites, I do not think I will find someone if I don't compromise on some things I would like in a guy. Too bad.
Before marriage nothing is important than your career. So focus on your career then start planning other things like getting married and all other stuff. How to move on ? Well, block everything that is related to him, then start your post break up life from first again as what you have done when your single long ago. Prioritize the things you wanted to achieve first. Then start working towards that. Work out, be healthy and be stronger. Keep yourself busy all the day. Hangout with your friends. Most importantly Don’t give a fuck about him if he comes back. Just move on and find better partner who understands you and career.
Thanks for your response! Am not going to think about marriage until I move out of here and get a better job. Also bad relationship affects ones self-esteem which happened with me to, so I have to do a lot of work on myself first. I blocked him 3 months post break-up and donated gifts he gave me. I don't have to even think about him coming back since he got engaged 4 months after the break-up and is about to get married soon. He did a lot of love bombing/was romantic during 7 months of our relationship, but he called me 5 days after the break-up and he didn't even remember the day we talked last time.
Chill and be positive. Wish you the success ahead. 😊
It’s life You just move on. Spend some time to speak with your family and friends. And tell them to don’t remind/discuss with this topic. Time heals everything. Join in gym or go to hikes/running.
Thanks for your reply! Yeah have been talking to family and some friends regularly now. It's helping a bit... probably just needs more time to heal.
Any guy who doesn’t let you get into FAANG doesn’t deserve you. You dodged a bullet.
Thanks! :)
This doesn’t work. Instead, spend time on yourself. Pain is very personal. Take it slow, work on your goals and each day will get a little better. That ass doesn’t deserve another second of your time.
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U Indian?
Without a question. But news flash: Indians feel human emotion like whites do, too.
How does it matter if OP is an Indian citizen or some other nationality?!