Looking to my single people. Anyone else more reserved in their approach towards women due to the current climate aka #MeToo. Everytime anything even goes past first base I get PTSD that I’m going to end up like Cosby or Kavanaugh. Is zenefits still a bastion for us single dudes? TC: 420k
If you have to ask the question, you know you have done something that can land you in hot water.
This is bullshit
I once matched on tinder a single mom with 100% custody. She couldn't go out on a date and said to come to her place at 9pm after children are asleep. I brought a bottle of wine, we had a good conversation, then moved to a sofa to watch some videos. At this moment she jumped on me, started kissing, making out, removing clothes. I've stopped her because I forgot condoms (didn't plan for fuck on first date). She said I should go to a gas station to get condoms. When I got back she fell asleep, so I woke her up to say bye and went home. Next morning she called me and accused that I've drugged her. She didn't remember what happened and started asking if I had sex with her (somehow she remembered the condoms part). I'm so happy we didn't. She didn't look too drunk (she was Russian and I assumed she knows how to drink) and I definitely didn't plan to get her drunk to take advantage or something. If I had condoms on me or she didn't fall asleep - who knows what would happened. For those curious, I'll finish this story. After few months she contacted me, started asking how's it going, and said that she wanted to come over. This time I didn't offer her any drinks. After dinner she asked me to show a bedroom, without any words she got undressed. Then she said: "are you going to fuck me or what?". That was the most unexciting sex I've ever had. Never seen her again. All that happened a year ago, before I was aware of meetoo.
If you even have to worry about doing something wrong to a woman or scared of having your actions miss-judged. You are the problem.
Never had to worry about my actions until metoo.
You shouldn't have to worry about your actions at all is what I'm saying. You might want to rephrase how you're saying that. Cause the way it sounds, you're saying that you've been doing heinous things and now in the light of #metoo, you have to worry about it.
I don’t know what you think constitutes dating, but nothing I ever did compared in any way to what Cosby or Kavanaugh did.
I will attempt to answer this in good faith as a serious question. Assuming you are not actually an abusive douchebag, avoid dating (1) mentally ill women who believe reality is based on their feelings independent of facts who might convince themselves something happened that didn’t or (2) opportunistic psychopaths who might lie about it as a weapon. The good news is the vast, vast majority of women do not fall into either of these two categories and the ones that do are relatively easy to detect if you take things slowly. In particular, avoid anyone who comes on extremely strong extremely fast because she is likely to leave similarly dramatically.
Hey man thank you very much. It was an honest question as a lot of my friends and i always tell that to eachother when we consider dating someone in tech now. We just say “metoo.” I wanted to see how everyone else was handling it and if they were equally as worried about it and how they mitigated risk. While a lot of people don’t want to believe this a lot of good people are dishonestly accused and i want to avoid that. I shouldn’t have brought up Cosby or Kavanuagh in jest as it took away credibility from my question. Like the responses to this thread prove people are fast to judge even if you question the movement, even in this limited environment. I’d never ask this question in person and risk getting HRd.
Never groped or raped or even harassed a girl. Tbh I’ve never asked anyone out at work or gotten close unless they’ve done the initial and subsequent actions. Believe it or not this is scary for us. #himtoo
So you’re saying if you are a good human being your chance of being falsely accused of metoo is 0?
I think OP is concerned about some women (small percentage) taking advantage of men using metoo. It’s a valid concern to have just like how women are afraid going out with men because of the likes of Cosby and others. Why do people asking sensitive questions always get judged? Give people some credit.
Thank you I am honestly concerned and it’s why I have a lot of regret in terms of missed connections with women I’ve met professionally. I end up looking very beta and rigid and mostly get a long with girls outside of work—and hey maybe that’s not a bad thing!
It’s hard because statistically, one of those is much, much more likely to happen than the other. False allegations are rare enough that men are more likely to be victims of assault than of false allegations. For survivors brave enough to speak up now, it’s hard to see people implying (perhaps unintentionally) equivalency between being a victim of rape or assault and being a victim of false allegations. Both are bad. But both aren’t equally likely to happen.
Let me give an analogy: fear of flying is irrational, chances are low but it’s a legitimate fear. Maybe OP now has fear of f***ing lol
No i think you’re right but this thread helped maybe it’s not as bad and it’s just the media and one off stories from friends making me worry. I have a sexphobia now lol.
Do you try to rape women and cover their moths when they try to yell for help, as Kavenaugh was accused? If so, you should be scared. If you're not doing d-bag stuff like that, why are you worried?
Why r u so naive? In metoo cases it's guilty until proven innocent. And by the time you are proved innocent u have lost ur job/career at the least if not jail time.
@private tell that to Justice Kavanaugh Or Justice Thomas
To all men, release your hormonal stress in doing sport / games / outdoors etc. Only fuck a woman if you are in long term relationship and that too let her take the first initiative. If you are not outdoors person, learn to use your hands 😀
amazing advice. u shd start a blog.
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Please tell me you aren’t another man thinking men are the primary victims of #metoo. If women can still date after being assaulted, I think you can suck it up and still date after reading about Bill Cosby getting justice.
Well it has negatively affected me and I’ve never even done anything remotely to be construed as sexual harassment.
Still scary times, hard to suck it up when every women seems to be a trap door.